"A (slightly) MONUMENTAL DECISION..."
by  Jerry D. Withers  (J_Withers@tcfn.org)
(NOTE:This particular story is not in keeping with classic TTA
tradition. In other words, it ain't necessarily funny. But then again,
it ain't necessarily supposed to be, either. So if you want wall-to-wall
yuks, you'll have to look elsewhere. Bob Dole's fiscal plans, for
example ;-}. Let the show begin.)
    "A year ago,," she told herself, "I would never have dreamed of
doing THIS..." A year ago, she had made so many other plans; chief among
them being attending Perfecto Prep for what would have been her senior
year. She thought of the letter she'd received a year ago that pretty
much dashed those hopes, and flushed them down the ol' porcelain subway
like so much...She didn't want to think about it.
    The more she did, the madder she got. Madder at Perfecto for having
the gall to pull something like this, but mainly mad at herself for not
having the strength to fight back, or to tell her mom, Rhonda, about it.
It was keeping the truth from her mom that reallly nagged at her
conscience, and that surprised as well as angered her, for up until that
time, she had forgotten that she'd even HAD a conscience!
    She remembered how hurt Rhonda was when she...when she...why
couldn't she just admit it to herself? She lied to her mother...there,
she admitted it, but it brought her no comfort, mainly because, as yet,
there was no one else to admit it to. She REALLY hated herself for that.
"Damn this conscience thing, anyway!" she thought. And it had seemed so
easy, telling her mom that she'd decided to take a year's sabbatical
from Perfecto. But if she'd thought that she was just going to sit back
and vegetate for a year, then she was, as they say (whoever THEY are),
in for it.
    Goodness knows, things hadn't been all that easy, what with Rhonda
working in real estate, and nobody to look after her kid sister,
Roberta. She paused, and wiped a runaway tear from her cheek. Times like
this, she really missed having her father to talk to...but, she had to
face the facts. He was dead, and no amount of crying would ever bring
him back...
    So, it was sort of providential that things had happened when they
did. It was agreed that she would help out with the housework and look
after Roberta...She smiled. Here she was, almost a grown young rat, and
up until a year ago, the most important concerns in her life had all
been labelled 'preppie'. "Boy, what a difference a year makes," she told
herself. After all, there were still some things you COULDN'T learn in a
classroom, even if it WAS Perfecto Prep's.
    The biggest--or littlest--shock was getting reacquainted with her
little sister. Up until last year, she'd only seen her maybe a month or
two a year (IF she was unlucky, she'd told her friends...) She made a
mental note to apologize to her for that remark, although she realized,
the more she thought about it, Roberta would've considered it no big
deal. Five year olds were funny that way, more open, and more forgiving
than...than 19-year-old guilt-ridden rats, she noted. And a helluvva lot
more honest; after all, when you're 5, you're not out to impress
anybody.
   That's what she loved the most about here kid sis, her ability to hit
the nail on the head with a quip that sent most grown-ups screaming in
terror from her presence! Roberta did it the way all little kids with
any smarts did, without malice--if she thought you were a jerk, for
instance, she'd come right out and TELL you so, and then blithely
announce that she had to go to the 'bafroom'. She prayed that instead of
Roberta growing up to be just like her, that the situation could somehow
be reversed, although she knew that THAT would never happen...
    She had never been to this part of Acme Acres before, although she'd
seen it many times, and so, recognized it immediately. She gazed in awe
upon seeing it for the first time, close-up and personal (or whatever
the phrase was). She didn't know WHAT she was afraid of--she thought it
was silly of her to even BE afraid; but she couldn't help feeling that
she was trespassing on sacred territory, that SHE had no right to be
HERE, at the entrance to this palatial estate, and that the best thing
would be to turn around, go home, and forget all about it...
    She steeled her resolve. If she was ever going to set things right,
she had to do it here, and now, although she was well aware of the fact
that if she succeeded in even accomplishing THIS much, that life as she
knew it would never be the same for her again, for as long as she lived.
    She cautiously strolled the grounds, past the ornate fountains and
the well-trimmed, magnificently sculptured landscaping, until she
reached her objective...a hole in the ground. If it were anybody else
that lived here, she would've questioned their sanity. If it only
WERE...She noticed a doorbell, mounted in a nearby post that was almost
as tall as she was. She smiled at the absurdity of such a thing, and
that relaxed her. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the button, and
heard, instead of the expected 'buzz' or 'ding-dong!', a sliding steel
guitar chord, and a series of chimes playing "Merrily We Roll Along".
She expected no less.
    The smooth sounds of a hydraulic lift could be heard, and she
stepped away from the hole, almost respectfully, as a pair of gray andf
pink rabbit ears emerged, attached to THE most famous rabbit in all of
filmdom..."Yaiss?", Bugs Bunny said, smiling...albeit a bit surprised to
see HER here.
    "Rubella Rat? What can I do for you, kid?"
    "Mr. Bunny," she started demurely, but he raised a gloved hand to
silence her.
    "Please, call me Bugs," he smiled. "Everyone else does."
    A wave of relief swept over Rubella at that moment. "Okay...Bugs...I
need your opinion on something...it's sort of...well, personal..."
    "Say no more, kiddo, come in..."
                                 - 0 -
    Rubella was startled to learn that, below ground level, Bugs Bunny
preferred to live as simply as any other rabbit...quite a contrast to
the above-ground surroundings. ('But then again,' she told herself,
'Bugs is NOT any other rabbit!')
    "Eh," he said, munching on a carrot, "Warner Brudders thinks I
should have all the amenities of bein' a film legend. As you can see, we
compromised." He laughed, and Rubella felt at ease within seconds. This
was no so-called 'film legend'; rather, he was just like your oldest and
most trusted friend. And any second, she'd need just that. He continued.
"But I'm sure you ain't here to write a story for 'Acme Heritage'...for
one thing, I notice you haven't been rearranging my foiniture...ask
away,
Rubella..."
    She pulled a letter from her purse and, almost hesitantly, handed it
to him. "I've never shown this to anybody...not even my mom..." Bugs
noticed she'd bowed her head and adopted a quiet tone of voice. He
opened the letter curiously, and read it to himself. Out of the corner
of her eye, Rubella tried to gauge his reaction...which fell somewhere
between growing concern and righteous anger!
    The humor had disappeared from his voice completely, to be replaced
with a grim tone. "Hmmmm...I'd hoid stories that Perfecto had pulled
somethin' like dis, but until now, I never would've believed it..."
    Ruby sighed. "Believe it, Bugs, because they did it!"
    Bugs continued to stare at the letter. "But...raisin' their tuition
175%? That doesn't make any sense! What did they expect to do with
it...buy diamond saddles for their polo ponies?!?"
    "For starters, yes..."
    Bugs noticed the date. "But, Ruby, dis letter was dated last year.
Why bring it to my attention now?" She was starting to cry...something
he never thought he'd see. He handed her a box of tissues.
    "Well, Bugs," she sniffed, wiping her eyes, "what they did put my
whole LIFE on hold! I had to do something I never thought I would do..."
    "You dropped out, huh, kid?" Ruby nodded her head slowly, and burst
into tears again.
    "I told my mother I'd decided to take a year off...Bugs, I feel
terrible, and I don't know what to do..." Bugs knew that most of
Perfecto's students were capable of every trick in the book. (However,
HE was capable of just as many, AND the table of contents, to boot!)
To his credit, he also knew when a student was genuinely in
trouble...although this was the first time he could EVER remember a
student from Perfecto seeking his help.
    "Well, Rubella," he finally said, after giving the matter the
proverbial Great Deal Of Thought, "I take it you'd like to finish your
education, but with Perfecto's tuition the way it is, it's too much for
you to handle, am I right?" She nodded silently. He knew the answer to
the next question before he even asked it. "Okay, kid...lemme ask ya,
have you ever considered transferrin' to another school?"
    Her lower lip quivered. THIS was it..."If it's all right with you,
I'd like to try out for Acme Loo..."
    "Ruby," he smiled, cautioning her at the same time, "ya don't 'try
out' for Acme; you either want to enroll or you don't, simple as that...
but I gotta warn ya in advance, kiddo, I DON'T play favorites."
    "I know, sir..."
    "Bugs, remember?"
    "Bugs..."
    "And I'll expect you to apply yourself...of course, as I recall,
rumor has it you did plenty of that at Perfecto, right?"
    How did he know?, she asked herself. "I guess I always DID stand out
from the rest of the crowd in that regard," she smiled.
    "Well, around Acme, you can be PROUD of bein' a good student," he
smiled, and then turned to a serious matter. "Er, have you given any
thought to what might happen if ya DO decide to transfer?"
    Ruby frowned. "If you mean, am I worried about what my old friends
might do? Absolutely, Bugs. To tell the truth, I'm TERRIFIED that
they'll find out. They tend to play rough, if you know what I mean."
    "Yeah, I know," Bugs sighed. "And that's why I want you to think
long and hard about this. I know finishing your schoolin' is important
to ya, and it SHOULD be; but if it interferes with your personal
safety..."
    "Bugs, I HAVE thought about it, and there's nothing anybody can say
or do to make me change my mind!" He noticed a firece determination in
her voice and eyes that wasn't there when she first arrived, he knew she
understood full well the implications of what she was about to get into,
and nothing was going to deter her. "And if anybody wants to kick the
carpfung out of me for doing this, well, let them take their best shot!"
    "Eh, no need to go THAT far, Ruby..."
    "How far do you think I _should_ go?"
    "No further than Pasadena..."
    Ruby laughed out loud for the first time that day. "I wondered when
we were going to get a halfway decent JOKE in this story..."
    "Really?" Bugs countered. "I'm STILL wonderin'..."
                                - 0 -
    It was an altogether different Rubella Rat that left Bugs and headed
home. They agreed that it would be best if the news of her transfer were
kept just between them, for the time being. Bugs thought that
maybe--just MAYBE--she was pushing her luck; but that remained to be
seen.
    As for Rubella, the first thing she did when she got home that night
was inform her mother that she had decided to return to school. And the
last thing she did that night, to use an old expression, was to sleep
the sleep of the just. After all, it was going to be an interesting
year, and she needed all the rest she could get...
                                 - 0 -
(C) August 18, 1996, by Jerry D. Withers. All characters (C) 1996 Warner
Bros./Amblin. This story is not intended to infringe on any such
copyrights. The characters of "Rhonda Rat" and "Roberta Rat" are created
by me.
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This story has not yet been perforated.
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Thanks to Kevin for posting this, and the Tri-Cities FreeNet for giving
me the webspace to do it with. I'd really appreciate hearing from you,
the readers. E-mail me at:J_Withers@tcfn.org.