A breif message from Able DuSable: Greetings and salutations to all my fellow Toonatics, Animaniacs and Furverts out there. Before you read the following story I would like you all to know that I took some liberties here and there (obviously) and I'm sure not everybody out there is going to like them. I'm not about to tell you about them right now and ruin the story for you all but as for now all I can say in my defence is... Every toon gets what they deserve. Thank yew. FRACTURED IMAGES A PLUCKY DUCK STORY by Abel DuSable dusable@escape.ca It was Halloween night and the full moon stared down on Acme Acres lighting up the scenery for miles around. Trick-0r-Treaters ran amuck up and down the streets, not even Acme Swamp was immune from the little anklebiters as a small group knocked on the door of a certain Green Duck. "HALLOWEEN APPLES!" echoed their giggly cry through the chill autumn air. Plucky opened the door and immediately clutched at his chest. "Oh! This is so cool! What a tribute!" He cried, for all of the children were dressed in white undershirts and Plucky masks. "You all deserve an extra handfull of candy for such flattery." Now laiden with sugary booty, the children walked down the street and talked amongst themselves. "You were right Duncan." said one child "He isn't cheap if you flatter him. Question is... what do the six of us do with these Plucky masks?" "We take 'them off and trick or treat in our REAL costumes, Mortimer. But I say we go scare the aura out of Shirley McLoon first." "Yeah! She'll have a heart attack when she sees six Pluckys on her doorstep." The six ran off giggling into the fog leaving Plucky's home, once again, alone. Inside the reed woven structure Plucky sat back and popped in his eighth Horror film for the night. It was called "Ghost in the Machine" and he had seen it enough times to lipsync the words by heart. It was one of those films that you watched and couldn't beleive it could happen and that's how plucky liked them. The more outrageous the plot the better he thought they were. The movie had just reached the point where the mother was shopping for a computer when from outside in his backyard there was a sound like glass shattering ,only backwards, followed by five loud thuds. Plucky put the movie on pause and slowly reached down beside his easychair and picked up his Acme Hydro Cannon 2000 and hefted it into a ready position. Earlier on in the day he had loaded the glorified water pistol with equal parts ice water, Shampoo and neon orange food coloring. Any kids that were planning to toilet paper his yard or egg his house would be up for one big foamy dye-job. There would be no way that he could miss them in a police line up. He quiely slipped out of the front of his home and slipped around to the back where he hid behind some conveniant barrels. He could only make out five dark shapes among the shadows and they were too far away to make out what they were saying. The most he could hear was "Different Topography", "Air" and "Why Now?". Letting his sense of adventure get the best of him Plucky lept forth from his vantage point to do battle. "Freeze Vandals!" He cried leveling his weapon at them. His answer was a volly of far more dangerous ammunition than what he was carrying. Letting his sense of self preservation get the better of him Plucky lept back to his hiding place to save his feathery butt. "Auggghhhh! Cease fire! Cease fire!" He screamed at the intruders, because little else came to mind. "Please don't kill me! I'm too handsome to dieeeeeee!" The barrage of bullets stopped and he heard a slurred and yet hauntingly familliar voice call to him. "Shtep out from thosh barrelsh... shlowly." "Do you promice not to blow my head off? "I promish noshing until you come out. Now are you going to do it by yourshelf or do we gotta shend shome brash shlugs in after ya?" " I'm coming, I'm coming. Yeesh. And don't worry, my hands are where you can see them." Plucky got out into the open and somebody shone a flashlight beam into his face blinding him. "Hey! watch it with that thing! I got sensitive eyes!" A collective gasp went up from the group and Plucky heard a very familliar female voice in their midst. "My god.... it's... it's..." "Shirl? Izzat you?" Plucky squinted at the light bearer. "PLUCKY!!!" A white blur cannonballed into Plucky nearly knocking him over. As an added bonus he felt a pair of moist beak-lips planting quick yet passionate kisses about his beak and face. His eyes finally focused on the face in front of him revealing the perpatrator of this ardant assualt. "SHIRLEY??? This is so unlike you! I think I like it." "Shut up and don't spoil the moment. Kay? I mean I like, thought you were totally dead or some junk. Well we all did but here you are, alive and well, or some junk." "Wait a minuite! Hold the phone! Just a sec! Rope it in there! Just WHO is dead?" Plucky took a step back and really looked at Shirly. Her hair had been cropped short and pixie-like, her feathers were matted and stained with dirt and grime, her beak was crisscrossed with knicks and scars, she no longer was wearing her pink ribbon and sweater but was now clad only in a simple filthy, ragged green sweatshirt and pants. But the one feature that shocked him the most was her eyes. They seemed so hollow, so tortured and now those... tired eyes looked as if they were about to cry. "You... You're not MY Plucky... are you?" "YOUR Plucky?" Asked Plucky as the awful truth dawned on him. "You're not from around here, are you?" A heavy hand landed on Plucky's shoulder causing him to turn and stare into Buster's face... or rather what was left of it. The entire right side of the Buster's face looked as if it had been scorched to the muscle leaving it resembling a fleshy, cratered, moon-like surface. Only the left eye seemed serviceable as the right was now merely a white sphere in a lidless socket. "Sho you're not the Plucky we knew? Ish Thish shome kind of... bad joke?" "Buster? My god, what happened to your face?" " Don't you mean, what happened to us all?" growled the Hamton stepping forward with the others. Like Shirley, they all wore identical green sweatshirts and pants but each toon was changed from what Plucky knew as the norm. Hamton seemed beefier (no pun intended) and had a set of metal capped tusks protuding out of his mouth. Babs' face was marred by what seemed to be several deep scars,a perminant scowl and one of her ears was little more than a stump. Fifi's hair was now tied up in a severe bun in the back, but her tail... the one thing Plucky knew that she lavished vain attention on for it's full body and silky sheen... was gone. In it's place was a terrible metal reptillian- style tail with a row of razor sharp "Dragon spines" leading down her spine to it's tip. "You guys must be from an alternate universe." mused Plucky as he struggled to accept what he was seeing. "Alternate Universe? you mean this isn't even our world!?" Snapped Barbara. "Well, either that or you guys are from a post apocalyptic future. What's the date?" The Hamton Checked what looked like an antique pocket watch. "October 31'st 1997." "Yup, alternate universe it is, just like in 'Sliders'. Cheeze! It looks like it a pretty rough place." "Rough is an understatement featherhead." sneered Barbara as she fingered her rifle. "We've been fighting a war. One that will shpell the end of all toondom if we loosh." Rumbled Buster. "Oh boy, I sense a long story coming on. You can tell me how you got here while we get in my house out of the cold air." "Like, to give you the short version Plucky, it's all Max's fault. He was the father of THE MILLION." "The Million?" "Ze Million ees a 'ost of born killers straight from ze nightmares. Vous see, Max created zem to destroy us so 'e could take ovaire not just Acme County but all of Warner World. Max took 'is own Aniplasm to create their skeletons and zen using ze latest in computer technology... GENERATED 'orrible bodies about zem." "You shee, he thought that if he ushed hish own plashm ash a bashe they would recognise him ash their father. A figure to be reshpected and obeyed, boy did he shcrew up. Sheemed that becaushe they were just born to kill toonsh, their firsht inshinct wash to dishtroy Max... go figure." "Nothing like a little poetic justice, eh Buster?" "Yesh. And that wash noshing like poetic jushtish. Max died quick compared to thoshe who followed. You may be wondering why our woundsh haven't healed." "The thought did cross my mind." "It would sheem that Max dishcovered yet another way to kill a toon." " There's Dip, Trueflame, Dim Mak and now the disruptive touch of The Million" Explained Babs counting them off on one hand. "According to Calamity's research the Million are mostly computer generated creatures, but the energies that they are made from disrupt our aniplasm, distroying the bonds that hold our bodies together. Kind of like a form of radiation poisoning. Any damage done to us takes from days to weeks to heal... if you can call it healing. Fortunately the feild is localised, limited to 'touch range'. That just means we should never let them get their hands on us. Buster and I found that out the hard way. " said Babs, shuddering and fingering the stump of her ear. "People shugesht I wear a patch or maybe even shome kind of metal mashk for thish little beauty mark. Heh. No way am I gonna WILLINGLY look like a reject from "Miker Bice from Marsh". "Well, that explains the injuries I see among you but what the HeeHaw happened to Hamton?' "The name is Hamilton, just Like the city, and I allowed myself to be experimented on for a cure to 'the touch'. It kind've worked. Calamity's treatment closed the gaping chest wound I had but there were hazardous side effects. I... regressed a few steps down the evolutionary ladder. I went from being a pig to becoming a Boar." "Well if it's any concilation, Hammy, people think you're a bore in this universe too." Plucky didn't even see Hamilton's fist coming until it knocked him into the living room. "When I regressed, I lost a great deal of my civility, Plucky!" snarled Hamilton "I get ticked off reeeeeal fast, so don't aggravate me." "No problemo." moaned Plucky staggering to his feet and reseting his dislocated jaw. "And what's your story Fifi, or is your name slightly different like Hamilton's? " "Non. My name ees Fifi, Fifi Lefume and eef vous must know I lost my tail to ze Million when moi tried to spray one of zem. 'Ow you say... he got me in ze end." A bittersweet smirk flickered across her face as she continued. "My entire derrierre was kaput, my tail 'ad been destroyed, my glands were beyond repair and all of ze muscles back zere were pretty much gone. Eef eet weren't for Furrball I would 've died out zere. 'E came out of nowhere, scooped moi up in 'is strong arms and carried moi out of ze danger. " He really saved my.... urm... well, what was left of eet anyway. Ze brave kitty took me to where he and Calamity 'ad set up a makeshift 'ospital and Calamity set about repairing what was taken from moi. He replaced all of my buttock muscles with steel alloy cable literally recreating eet from 'is memories... makes you wondaire 'ow often 'e snuck a look to 'ave such a good memory of eet, no? Seeing how I would be 'elpless without a tail for counterbalance while walking and running ze clevaire coyote built me a new one, one zat would replace ze defence mechanisms zat Moi lost." Fifi made a show of slicing the top off of his easy chair with her tail's 'Dragon Spines'. "I don't beleive it, after all the time your counterpart has tried to achieve Buns of Steel you get there first. Un-Be-levable." "Eet's not all bad. Just like ze real theeng when ze synthefur covers zem. Not even Calamity or Furrball can tell ze difference." purred the skunkette as she struck a pose worthy of Marylin Monroe. "Woah! Hey! Finding about your relationships is just a LITTLE more information than what I need to know." "Zere's a war in my universe, Plucky. Sometimes all zat can comfort you ees a warm body beside you een your bedroll... or two bodies eef vous REALLY need comforting." "Aw great! Thank you Fifi, now I have a mental picture of you, Calamity and Furrball to deal with. Boy is THIS gonna make lunch hours aqward. Hey, I just though of something... You said that my counterpart was dead. How- how did I... die in your world?" Shirly gave a soft sob before begining. "It was during the initial attack... The Million just came out of nowhere and like, began slaughtering toons left and right. We were totally unprepared, we thought they were just like any other toony villians until we realised people were dieing. I, I used to commune with spirits a great deal when I was younger but I was like... totally unprepared for death. *REAL* death. The immediate... terror and feelings of total helplessness it can inflict to you as life leaves a person. It was horrible, the looks on their faces as they realised they weren't healing from their injuries just before those... monsters finished them off. I was frozen there, I had gone into shock when you grabbed me by the arm and herded as many of us you could find into the basement of Acme Tec.. By this time several of us like Buster and Barbara had weapons and were trying to defend our position. You got us all into the steam tunnels then grabbed a gun from Barbara, kissed me and sealed the door between us. You provided us with the time we needed to escape... at the cost of your life." "It wash the firsht... and the lasht heroic thing we ever saw you do." "And ze MOST 'eroic theeng. Eef it weren't pour vous, zere wouldn't even BE a resistance." "You wouldn't beleive how many times I heard 'Let's win one for the Pluckster' out on the battlefeild." Snorted Hamilton as he wound his watch. "It was corny and damn annoying, but in a way it gave the troops something to focus on other than death." Shirley pulled a bizzare fetish out of her pouch and held it up to Plucky. "This is like, all we found of you afterwards. I think it's what guided us to you, kinda like a psychic homing signal." Plucky gingerly took the gleaming white Duck skull from Shirley's hands and held it up to his own face to examine the features, the feathers and small bones that were attached to it by small leather straps. "These are mine? Aw, Cheeze. Pluckford Q Duck... just the bare bones... OH! I think that was my left index finger once." Plucky looked over and noticed that tears were running down Shirley's face, he put his arms around her and hugged her close. "H-Hey, don't cry Shirl... your feathers will get all sticky." "If you're finished all of your questions, Plucky, I have one for you." Said Barbara "Uh... Go ahead, Babs." "I prefer Barbara Anne, or just plain Barbara. What I want to know is... What happened to us? How did we fare in THIS universe?" Not long after, the six toons hung in the shadows around the Weenie Burger watching their dopplegangers laughing, eating and enjoying life. "Sho, Barbara... I mean Babsh, and Bushter are Boyfriend and Girlfriend?" "Yup. Buster is a born leader though somwhat clumsy in my opinion, Babs seems to suffer from a high sugar and caffeen diet as well as some kind of multiple personality disorder." "What did he say about my counterpart?" "He shaid she'sh hyperactive and doesh too many impreshionsh. Just like you onesh were." "But she's Ok once you get used to it and Hamton is going out with with that attractive waterfowl over there with him." "Seems some things are the same, in my world she's my commanding officer and lover." growled Hamilton " I can't remember the last time I looked so well fed." "There you are Feef, chasing Furrball AND Calamity. Looks like they went out as black cats for Halloween and got too close to a wet fence." "Why are zey running from moi?" "In this world, you still have your glands. It's not that they DON'T find you attractive, just... well... you come across as a little too 'strong' ." "That...she's me?" Asked Shirley pointing at her otherworldly self. "Yup." "She's so fresh and young looking. She's... beautiful. Unmarred... unburdened... pure..." "Uh, actually you look as good as she does Shirl... In a Linda Hamilton/Sigourny Weaver kinda way." "Thanks Plucky. Like, why aren't you with your friends or some junk?" "I dunno. The others said they had better things to do and I asked you if you wanted to come over for my horrormovie-thon and you wacked me with a mallet." "Like, that was all you invited her over for?" "Well, more or less." Buster turned away from the scene and said one thing in his dark, slurred voice. "I've sheen enough." The group walked back to Plucky's place in relative silence until they reached his front door. Buster removed the white metal sphere that he used to fill his empty socket and polished it with a small peice of cloth before returning it to it's proper place. (An unfortunate and disgusting habit he developed years ago.) "Today, I shaw people who have been dead for yearsh in my world. I shaw what could have been and what we're fighting for. We're fighting to get our livesh back, and the right to rebuild our world from the ashesh the Million has redushed it to. We will take back our world. We will make it whole onesh more." Plucky opened the door to his home and ushered everybody inside. "You're just like my Buster, Y'know? Always has a speech or three up his sleeve. Say, you guys want something to eat? I got about twenty pizzas in the fridge." A chorus of joy went through the toons and about twenty seconds later they were gorging themselves on pizza and softdrinks. "Oh Pizza! Real Pizza. Oh god how I've missed this stuff!" Moaned Barbara in rapture. "Zis ees heavenly!" cried Fifi as she shoved another slice into her mouth. "Gee, and to think I was going to chuck that stuff out just cause it was a little stale. Speaking of which, you guys smell a little gamey, no offence meant ." "There's like, no bathtubs or showers left where we come from, Plucky." "I thought that war was supposed to change you. Or at least your clothes once a week. O.K. everybody! It's showertime! " "Showaire? As een... 'ot water pouring out of ze wall, washeeng away all ze dirt and grime on your body?" "I'll even throw in a fresh bar of soap for each of you, shampoo and a solid scrub brush." "Oh! Somebody Peench Me!" Buster slowly reached out his hand when Barbara pressed her knife against his throat. "Don't even think about following up on that invitation 'Winkie'." "I probably would have hurt myshelf on her bionic arsh anyway." "Ahem! Seeing as I am the owner of this house I get to choose who gets the first shower and I choose Shirley." "Beeg surprise zere." Fifteen minuites later Plucky cautiously entered the Bathroom where Shirley now wrapped in a bath towel like a terrycloth disco dress was busy drying her hair. "You decent Shirl?" "Uh-huh. Just finishing up here, Plucky. Did you need something?" "Well, I thought since you were getting clean, it'd be shame if you had to dress in those funky fatigues so I decided I should wash your clothes for you." "Oh. Like, Here you go or some junk." Shirley handed her clothes to Plucky and turned back to drying her hair. A moment later she looked into the mirror and saw Plucky staring at her. "Can I, like, help you or some junk?" "Y'know, My Shirly never would let herself be caught DEAD in front of me dressed so_ sparsely. Towel and all, Y'know." "Uh oh. Like, I'm sorry. It's just that..." "Let me guess... you guys don't exactly have privacy where you come from either?" "You'd be surprised how quickly you get used to it. Sometime there's up to thirty of us sharing a room. I-I'm probably making you uncomfortable or some junk. I'd better cover myself." "Please, Don't hurry on my account, Shirl." A flash of anger rose up within Shirley and she brought back her hand to slap Plucky across the face when she stopped herself. "No! I'm not going to do it." "What?" "Every time we like, start to get close, you get crude, I lash out at you and we're back to square one again. Well not this time. I've dreamed of us getting together again and I'm not going to let you ruin this fleeting moment. THE CYCLE ENDS HERE!!" "Shirl? Are you mad at me?" "Back home MY Plucky showed me how much he cared for me by sacrificing his life for me. I have to know why we never connected until that moment, why he kept pushing us apart like that." "Well just ask away." "Sorry Plucky. No more illusions!" With those words Shirley dropped her clothing and pressed her hands onto either side of Plucky's head. For a breif moment Plucky felt only the cool touch of her hands, and then he felt the explosive force of their two minds slamming together and merging into one mind where no secrets could be kept. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> In that union Shirly saw... An exceedingly young and plain looking mallard teased by the other young toons because he had no recognisable talents and heart broken that his dream of becoming a main character would never be realised. His mother finding out about her only child's prediciment takes him to motivational speakers and psychologists to boost his ego to handle the pain but she overdid it. The treatments became akin to brainwashing. Plucky's image of being "good enough and smart enough and well liked" grew to become "I am the greatest toon of all, the normal rules don't apply to me.". But that in itself became a talent, he became the best foil in the world for other toons to play off of. Many of the other toons would NEVER reached their full potential without Plucky. Then Shirly McLoon came along... Plucky fell head over heels in love with her but his "programming" always made him make the wrong moves, say the wrong things and all at times that were just... well... wrong. His ego never let him realise he was at fault, after all to him he was the most handsome, the most romantic, the most manly, the most sensitive when he was really the most unprepared. He had no way to love Shirly more than he loved himself, even though in truth... he did. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< And Plucky saw... An exceedingly young loon ridiculed by the other toons her age for her lack of talent and plain features. Her mother wanting to soothe her crushed spirit introduced her to meditation to help her find the strength to center herself in her troubled moments. Shirley found her center but still felt empty and went deeper and deeper into the spiritual world to fill that void until she reached a point when her spiritual awareness and psychic prowess had become incredibly well honed. She became a main character but still felt empty... and then she met Plucky. Plucky was unlike any other person she knew, so egotistical, so arrogant, so impervious to insult... so desireable. It boggled her mind as to why she loved him, after all he was so infuriating! At was almost as if he was going out of his way to keep her spiritually off balance. And then there was that fateful day that added one last mismatched peice to the puzzle called Plucky Duck. He gave his life for her. She could never get that last kiss out of her head, so tender, so affectionate, like a lover and not the letch as she had him pegged. That kiss gave her the emotion to go on in the war with the Million Horde and ultimitely attempt the powerful ritual that should've destroyed the Million but sent her friends and her here instead. ============================================================= The union ended and the two waterfowl stared at one another in silence until Plucky spoke first. "I had... no idea we were so alike." "So much in common and yet so different. You did love me all along but... you wouldn't... you COULDN'T say it." "You were willing to tear asunder time and space for me. I-I never knew you cared so much." "My questions are finally answered. Thank you Plucky." "So what do we do now?" "I guess we... I mean the others and I go home... We still have a war going on." "You don't HAVE to go back. You could stay here... I'm sure the others would be overjoyed to have brothers and sisters like you and..." "Plucky." "I know... you have to go back..." "We left hundreds of friends behind in our world we couldn't live with ourselves knowing we turned our backs on them. I know it seems unfair and I should know. My time with MY Plucky was very short but you still have time with YOUR Shirly. You can still change. You've seen where you went wrong and... and can still become the duck in shining armor we both know is under that somewhat tarnished exterior." "I, don't know if I have it in me to be that duck... I've worn too many masks in my life." "Just... just love her with all your heart, Plucky. It just might show you how." The waterfowl embraced one another and for the longest time said nothing when Plucky gave a short chuckle. "We better finish this hug soon or the others might think we're up to something seriously naughty." "Like, get crucial! They know us better than that!" When the two avians entered the livingroom, the other four toons looked up from the television set and smiled lewdly at them. "Hope you two didn't ushe up all the hot water on ush." "(So much for knowing us.) Plenty left, I have seven waterheaters to fill up my jumbo Acme Hot tub." "OOH!~ Moi next! Moi next!" Squealed Fifi as she ran past shedding her clothes. "Just make sure your butt doesn't rust!" Mocked Barbara. "By the way Plucky, neat movie. What's it called?" "Gah!! I forgot I left that thing on pause. Oh well. It's called 'Ghost in the Machine'. OOH. have you gotten to the point where they kill the bad guy with the giant magnet yet? " "PLUCKY!!" cried all of the toons. "You've alwaysh told ush the ending before we can enjoy it! Maybe we wanted to find out for ourshelvesh that the only way to kill a computer generated villian ish with a giant... magnet?" "Like, Buster? Are you OK or some junk?" "Plucky you little bleshing in dishguish! Thatsh it! The key to killing the Million! We need a Magnetic cannon of shome kind!" "We have at least a dozen techs that could work on the problem!" Cried Barbara. "If it weren't for Plucky getting us upset, we may never have thought of it as any more than just a plot device. We gotta head home now!" "Hey! Slow down there guys. What kind of a host would I be if I let you go back to your world all dirty and tired? First, the rest of you are going to clean up. Second, you will take a nap to recover your strength, And finally I'm going to order you guys enough pizzas to feed a small army to take back with you. After seeing how you guys wolfed down those ones I think your troops could use the moral booster." "Why the sudden generosity, Plucky?" Asked Hamilton eyeing the duck with suspicion. "Beats me. I feel like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders... either that or Shirley and I explored the symbiotic karma of our Yin/Yang relationship. Take your pick." Shirley gave Plucky alight punch in the arm as good natured laughter echoed about the room. The next morning the displaced toons now clean, refreshed and well rested left Acme Acres to that place that they called Acme County, and of course... home. (With about a thousand Pizzas in tow) It was noted by the toons of Acme Acres that there was a strange change in Plucky after that Halloween. He was calmer, less abrasive and on the first day after Halloween he gave Shirley Mcloon a single potted red rose and apologised for all of his past mistakes. (She immediately checked herself into the Acme Mental Health Clinic for observation and was released three days later when her friends finally convinced her that she was not hallucinating.) The new Plucky was far from perfect but he was better than what he used to be and eventually he and the Shirley of his world began to date on a frequent basis. She just couldn't understand why he insisted on wearing that "grody" left index fingerbone on that leather thong around his neck. Six months later in the other world, With the Million horde destroyed and the war over, life has begun to slowly regain a sense of normalcy in Acme County. The city was nearly rebuilt and toons were little by little, getting on with their lives. Even in the office of Doctor Calamity Coyote, life goes on. "Like are you sure?" asked Shirley MacLoon as she climbed back into her clothes. "I'm positive." said Calamity in his cool metallic voice. "I've examined you and rechecked the results several times. Congratulations. You are pregnant with a healthily developing egg." "This is like, totaly heavy, or some junk." "May I assume that this is an unplanned pregnancy?" "I'll say." she said biting her lower lip. "The father isn't even_ from this planet." "Do you mean to say, that the story you told us of the alternate Plucky Duck has an 'X' rating?" "NO!" said Shirly quickly. "I mean... I... we never... All we did was hug! Well... that... and then there was the... mind meld." She trailed off in embarassed confusion. Calamity's brow furrowed in thought and he hummed to himself sending an electronic rumble echoing through the tiny room. Quickly he readjusted the electronic 'Voicebox' that was surgicaly implanted in his neck to a less sensitive frequency. "Sorry." he apologised in a distracted way as a theory formed in his mind. "Please, tell me more about this mind meld of yours." Shirly once again told Calamity the story of how they arrived and the interaction with Plucky but this time she finally revealed the personal details she had held back from the others and how she had made a form of peace with her own ghosts. At the end Calamity nodded to himself and smiled in amusement. "It COULD be feasible... yes. An intriguing... nay, FACINATING concept!" "Cal? What is it?" "Well, you're the foremost expert on psychic and metaphysical phenomonon, let me present you with this question. Is it at all possible that when you and the OTHER Plucky linked on a spiritual level your combined 'auras' and fact you two are from different dimensional planes have caused this child-to-be?" "What you're talking about is a... an Astral Impregnation!" "Is it possible?" "I- I don't know or some junk. It's, like, the only possible answer. I guess it has to be the answer but we may never know how it was achieved. It may have been a one in a million chance kind of event." "To quote my favorite author 'one in a million chances crop up nine times out of ten'." "Very funny." So... Plucky is the father." "Well_ I_ yes. Yes he is." "It will be hard for a child to live up to the image of a legend." "I'd hardly call Plucky a Legend. A hero maybe..." "Perhaps not a legend now but in a generation from now... who knows. I think his monument will say it all." "Monument? What monument?" "The one Buster and Barbara are arranging to be built in his honor. A place for those bones of his that you carry around. Nothing spectacular, like a twenty foot statue of him astride a horse, I assure you. A simple Nine foot obelisk of emerald green stone with his image carved in the side and a single plaque." "Here lies the remains of Pluckford Q Duck. An unlikely hero who gave his life so a rebellion could live and gave the key to the end of the Million threat. Rest well Plucky." "That's beautiful. Who... who wrote it?" asked Shirly a lone tear rolling down her bill. "I did. I just finished off the final draft this morning. I didn't want to play up his role OR crush the image he has. But I'm worried the stories of his involvement will grow from his being one many heroes to that of a legend." "What can I do?" "I reccomend keeping the father's identity from public knowledge for now, then tell your child only the truth about Plucky's role in the war, then when it is old enough... the truth of who sired it. After all how would it live up to the almost saintly figure that 'fed the lost five, bathed them, gave them a night of safe rest, and sent them on their way with manna for the troops and the knowledge to smite the daemon horde known as The Million." Shirly laughed as the thought of Plucky becoming a religious figure slid into her mind's eye. "Do you really think he could wind up with his own religion, Cal?" "Well, all things are possible, Shirl. Did you know the baby toons that are being born now, are being told by their parents that if they don't behave, Montanna Max and 'The Million' will carry them off in the night? A threat I personally do not approve of." He said, scratching the furry gotee he was trying to grow on his chin. "You're sounding like a parent already, Cal. Thinking of having some offspring of your own?" Calamity blushed and gave a bashful shrug. "Maybe, that is if Fifi would want to. Of course it would be a bear telling the Kits from the Kittens. I-I'm going to be honest with you, Shirly. There are times I wish Fifi hadn't rewritten the laws so she could marry both me AND Furrball. I feel like part of a harem." "She loves both of you guys, you couldn't just ask her to choose one and throw away the other." "I know, I love Fifi so much... and I love Furrball like a brother! It's just... I never thought we'd be related like this." Shirley laughed at Calamity's complaint and changed the subject. "How are 'Winky' and 'Stumpy' doing?" "Buster and Barbara? Same as you'd expect. After their wedding the others immediately put them on the new ruling council. I just delivered their third child two days ago. A handsome little hopper I'll admit." "So that makes Barbara Anne, Babs, and..." "Buster jr. And before you can ask yes Hamilton's child is doing fine now. I'll be the first to admit I always though that "When Pigs fly" was a metaphor for NEVER. Now we have a pig with wings to deal with." He let out a metallic rumbling sigh but quieter than his first sound. "It's a strange new world we're building, Shirley. It could unfold in any number of ways." "Welcome to the new millenia." said Shirley running her hands across her swelling belly. Calamity was right. Before 'The Million' their futures had seemed so set and definite but now it was like a dark labrynth. Every choice, every turn would lead to an unknown destination in this new world, and that excited her. Who knows what wonders were before them just waiting to happen. She smiled inwardly at her unborn child. Who knows? Perhaps one day she would take her child to meet it's true father and see how he was changed by their meeting. Yes. Now THAT would be interesting. THE END ...or is it? Well, that's the story. I did warn you that every toon gets what they deserve, maybe not the mutilations but what and who they wind up with. I'm pretty sure I don't have to tell you about the usual legal mumbo jumbo that Plucky Duck, Shirley McLoon, Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny, Fifi LaFume, Hampton J. Pig, Mortimer, Duncan, Acme Acres, Weinie Burger and anything else that's owned by Warner Brothers is STILL owned by Warner Brothers but the 'OtherWorld' stuff, places, characters and events are products from the dark netherreigions of MY mind and are pretty much apocriphal with Speilberg's creations. Oh, and they can't be used without my concent because they're MINE! MINE! MINE! I do realise that I will get a great deal of E-mail from readers (Flaming and otherwise) and all I can say is... contact me at dusable@escape.ca so there! I dares Ya! Hit me wit yer best salvo! I encourage all of you to write new installments around this story. That's right. You may all have my permission to use the characters and location of Acme County as long as I get to read the stories. I recomend either a story during the war with 'The Million' (which I always pictured like the apocolyptic future in the 'Terminator" movies) or the aftermath of the events in both Acme Acres and Acme County. In fact... I think a story about the first invasion of 'The Million' horde would make powerful reading... or if the cast of Acme Acres went to Acme County and found that monument. Oh, the list goes on! Just to keep things straight, here's a basic rundown of actual characters. Known citizens of Acme County: Buster H. Bonne :Right side of face mutilated, only has one eye, Slurred speech, Married to Barbara Anne. Barbara Anne Bonne :One ear missing, married to Buster, 3 kids Bonnie children :Barbara, Babs and Buster Jr. Fifi LeFume/Coyote/Cat :Bionic tail and rear end, Married to both Calamity and Furrball, French accent Dr Calamity (Cal) Coyote :Electronic 'Voicebox' implant, Married to Fifi Furrball Cat :Also has Electronic 'Voicebox' implant, also Married to Fifi Note: it is possible that Fifi and her husbands change their last names to LeCatyote. (Just an Idea) Hamilton J. Pig :Regressed into Boar with steel capped tusks, married to the girl he met on spring break and has a Flying pig offspring. Shirley (Shirl) MacLoon :Psionic Mystic powers, Pregnant with Acme Acre's Plucky's egg as a result of their psychic union and a bizarre time/space plot device. Valleygirl accent. Pluckford Q. Duck (Plucky) :Dead, remains currently carried about by Shirley and Acme Acres' Plucky wears Left index fingerbone around his neck. Montana Maximillion :Dead, slaughtered by his own creations... 'The Million". Of course knowing Max he may have had a "Plan B" in case of his own destruction. Note: I'm not sure what happened to the rest of the cast but I suspect that the Senior staff of Acme Tec. Didn't make it past the first day of the invasion. Take heart about the younger ones though, they have a way of getting out of tight jams. Fifi: VIVA L'AMOUR! Cal: I've created a monster. Yet another harmful byproduct of ToastTech TM.