TOON WOLF
A Tiny Toons fanfiction

by Earl Allison
eallison@tiac.net

March 1997


Disclaimer: The characters herein, with minor exceptions, are the
copyrighted properties of Warner Brothers and Amblin Entertainment.
Various situations and comments are lampoons of Universal's classic
"The Wolf Man".  Don't bother suing, as I have no money anyway.

Willy Wolf is copyright of me, 1997, name courtesy of HKUriah.
Also, special thanks to HKUriah for his editing chores on this lovely
tale.  Read on, and enjoy!

*EVEN A TOON WHO IS PURE OF HEART
*AND DOES HIS HOMEWORK EACH NIGHT
*MAY BECOME A WOLFMAN WHEN THE WOLFSBANE BLOOMS
*AND THE MOON IS FULL AT NIGHT



	It was a beautiful spring day in Acme Acres.  The sun
was shining, the birds were singing, and a pair of cartoon rabbits
were walking down a wooded path.  One was blue, wearing a red
shirt, the other, a female, was pink, clad in a purple skirt and yellow
blouse.
	"Hiya toonsters!" the blue one shouted.  "I'm Buster
Bunny!"
	"And I'm Babs Bunny!" the pink rabbit chimed in.
	"...No relation!" they both said at once, smiling at the
camera.
	"Today is New Student Day here at Acme Loo, and
today's new student is ... Willy Wolf!" proclaimed Buster.
	"AAAAGGGGHHH!!"  Babs shrieked, eyes enlarging
to twice their normal size as she ran around dramatically.  "We're
doomed, doomed I tell you!  A wolf?!  What are they trying to do
to us, Buster?"
	"Whaddaya mean, Babseroo?" asked Buster calmly,
frowning at Babs's overacting.
	"He's a WOLF, you dummy!" Babs yelled.  She twirled
around, now wearing a librarian's clothing and holding an
encyclopedia open to the entry for wolves.  "Wolves eat rabbits!
They eat almost anything!  The only student body he probably
won't try to eat is Dizzy!"  She sobbed, throwing her head back
and crying loudly.  "I can just see it now, they'll split us up, and
turn Acme Loo into a carnivore's delight!"  She continued her
exaggerated crying, exclaiming "I'm too young to be eaten" over
and over again.
	"Rope it in, Babs" Buster said sternly.
	Sheepishly she calmed down, giggling as she regained
her composure and normal appearance.  "Sometimes I just can't
help myself."
	"C'mon, we don't want to be late!" Buster shouted,
grabbing Babs by the ears and dragging her off towards the
Looniversity.
	As the two approached, they could hear the buzz of
conversation from the steps of the Looniversity.  It seemed that
everyone knew about the new student, and most of them seemed
to be just as concerned as Babs.  None of them wanted to end up
an appetizer, after all.
	"Le sigh, a new boy, and he ees, 'ow you say, a wolf ..."
started Fifi LaFume, lavender skunkette and resident flirt at Acme
Loo.
	"Yeah, and, like, not even the fun kind, or some junk."
Shirley the Loon finished, hovering off the ground in a lotus
position.
	"Shirl, don't even joke about that," Plucky Duck answered.
"You'll make me think you don't like me."
	The loon turned in midair to stare at the obnoxious little
green duck.  Fixing him with a cold glare, her eyes began to glow.
"Get crucial, duck-toad!" she threatened as a small thundercloud
formed over Plucky and a lightning bolt reduced him to ashes and
a beak.
	Ever hopeful, the beak replied "Y'know Shirl, they say you
only hurt the ones you love ..."
	Shirley just floated off, headed for class.  Most of the others
were filing inside now, not wanting to be late for homeroom.
	As everyone sat down at their desks, a hushed silence fell
over the room.  There in the far corner was the object of everyone's
concern.  A small brown wolf, wearing new red sneakers and a blue
football jersey, was sitting quietly and doodling on a pad of paper.
He didn't look menacing or monstrous, but was as small and unassuming
as the rest of the toons.  In fact, he bore a strong resemblance to Calamity
Coyote, except that his ears were more pointed and he had a long bushy tail.
He was seemingly oblivious to the curious and worried stares he was getting.
	Everyone, including the wolf, snapped to when Elmer Fudd,
homeroom teacher, walked in carrying his attendance sheet.  "Hewwo
evewybody.  Today we have a new student hewe at Acme Woo.
Wiwwy Wolf, please stand and introduce yoursewf  to the cwass."
	All eyes fell on Willy as he stood, suddenly conscious of
all the attention he was getting.  Fidgeting slightly, he cleared his
throat.  "Um, hi everybody!" he started, waving weakly.  "I'm Willy
Wolf, and I hope we can all be friends."  He then sat down again,
obviously relieved that it was over.
	After a few seconds, everyone began chatting again as
attendance was taken.
	"Eeewww, look at the pretty little furry puppy-head!  Hi
little puppy-head, I'll be your friend!" Elmyra offered.
	To his credit, Willy seemed to shrink back a bit.  At least
he was afraid of Elmyra, like every other toon here at the school.
	"Gee, maybe someone should go over and welcome him to
Acme Loo" offered Hamton as he started to get out of his chair.
	"No way!" Plucky shouted, grabbing Hamton's arm and
throwing him back into his seat.  "That's just what he wants us to
do!  Lull us all into a false sense of security, and then gobble us up!"
Plucky's eyes were wide with fear as he pictured himself and Hamton
trussed up on a large platter, with Willy licking his chops and
brandishing a knife and fork.
	Plucky's thought balloon was burst by Buster, holding
a pin.  "Wait a minute, guys.  We don't even know this guy yet.
Maybe he's not dangerous at all."
	"Oh yeah?" started Plucky, "sure, maybe he's like Dizzy
Devil, or better yet, maybe he takes after Calamity and just wants
to eat Little Beeper, right?"  Plucky was being very sarcastic now,
holding a copy of "Grimm's Fairy Tales" in one hand.  "Look at the
facts in this book, Buster, Willy sure isn't a vegetarian.  All we are
to him are a bunch of little hot lunches with legs!"
	Almost as if on cue, Willy yawned, revealing a mouthful
of long, sharp teeth.  He then stretched, and claws were visible on
his hands and feet.  All quickly faded, replaced with the regular
appearance he had when they first saw him, but the damage was
done.  He smiled and waved to the others again.
	The bell rang, and everyone took off like a shot, leaving
the wolf alone in the room with the dust cloud their mass exodus
left behind.  Sadly, the little wolf gathered his books and pad, and
trudged to his first class, all alone.
	Everyone fell silent as he walked past, watching warily
until he had gone around the corner.
	"Did you see those teeth?!" Babs asked.
	"Like, yeah.  Major instruments of dental destruction."
Shirley answered.
	"See, see!  What did I tell you guys?" Plucky started again.
	"I just don't know ..." Buster responded, stroking his chin.
	Their discussion was cut short by Gogo Dodo popping out
of the clock on the wall.  "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!  If you're late for first period,
you're cuckoo!"  He then popped back into the clock as they made their
way to class.
	Most of the school day was uneventful.  Willy seemed no more
or less knowledgeable than anyone else, and kept to himself, always
doodling or scribbling when not actually working.  He could take an
anvil on the head with the best of them, and his Wild Takes were
actually pretty good, but no one other than the professors would
even talk to him.
	When everyone filed into the cafeteria for lunch, Willy
was the center of attention again.  When it was evident that no
one wanted to sit with him, he sat quietly at a small table by himself.
He looked utterly pitiful, with big, moist eyes and a downcast
expression as he set his brown bag on the table with his sketchpad
and books.  He looked to be on the verge of tears.
	This was too much for Hamton to bear.  "Look, you guys
can stay here if you want, but I'm going to make him feel welcome."
With that, he picked up his tray and marched determinedly towards
Willy's table.
	"Hammy, don't!" Plucky pleaded, trying to bar the pig's way.
Hamton just walked right over him, squashing him and leaving him a flat blot
on the floor.  "Y'know, this bit is getting old fast" the two-dimensional
duck quipped, as he popped back to normal.
	"We gotta stop him!" Babs shouted.  "Buster, do something!"
	"I am, Babs, I'm watching," he replied.
	"Hi, I'm Hamton J. Pig" the pig said, offering his hand.
	All the other toonsters looked on in hushed silence, waiting for the
wolf's response.
	A big smile crossed Willy's face as he eagerly took the offered hand
and shook it.  "I'm Willy, Willy Wolf, and it's nice to have someone to talk to.
Would you like to sit down?"
	"Sure, I'd be delighted!  Say, what were you doing with that pad all
day, anyway?"
	Willy fidgeted again, trying to hide the pad.  "Nothing, just some
dumb pictures.  It doesn't matter anymore.  Now I have a new friend, right?"
	Hamton smiled and looked back toward the others.  "Sure, I'll be your
friend.  Don't worry, the others were just afraid you were going to ... "
	Instantly Plucky shot over, clamping a hand over Hamton's mouth and
hastily adding "... afraid you were going to be a bully or something.  Yeah, that's
it, a bully."
	Then, as the other toons walked over cautiously to lend moral support,
Plucky snatched the pad away.  "Aha!  Now we'll see what you've been up to!"
Whispering to the others behind him, he added "I bet he's got recipes for all of
us in here!"
	The sight that greeted the assembled cast as they looked over the pad
made them all feel two feet tall, literally.  They all shrunk down, looking chastened
and ashamed as the contents were revealed.
	The pad was filled with drawings,  fairly good ones.  The first one was
nice enough, one of Willy skipping merrily to the Looniversity.  The remainder
of the drawings were much less cheerful, however.  They were all scenes from
the daily events, and they all showed a poor, ostracized Willy looking on while
the other toons chatted or played.  The last picture, a hastily scribbled one, was
Willy and Hamton together against a sunny backdrop.
	One by one, the other toons regained their normal size and looked
apologetic.  Buster finally spoke.  "Gee Willy, we're all really sorry we were
mean to you."
	"Yeah," added Babs.  "We were all afraid you were going to eat us.
Silly, huh?"
	Willy looked utterly mortified.  "I wouldn't eat anybody!  We wolves
aren't all like that.  Still, I guess it's OK."  He fixed them with a pitiful gaze that
made them all feel terrible.
	The others all felt like heels, and invited the wolf back to their table
He followed slowly, looking uncomfortable.
	"Look," Buster started, "we're all really sorry, and we'd like you to
think of us as your friends, if you'd like."
	"I dunno ... I don't want friends who think I'd eat them." Willy
answered sadly.
	Babs began to sob uncontrollably, sniffling as she spoke.  "Oh,
*sniff* please forgive us.  We're so *sniff-sniff* sorry.  We'd *sniff* be
so happy if you forgave us!" she pleaded melodramatically.
	Willy brightened a bit.  "Um, okay." he replied softly.
	"Great!" shouted Babs.  Her expression immediately brightened, as
did that of everyone else at the table.  Willy was a part of their group now.
	"Whew, being melodramatic is hard work!" Babs exclaimed, wiping
her brow in an exaggerated manner as she dug into her lunch.  It was carrot
bread, carrot sticks, carrot juice, and for dessert, carrot cake (naturally).
	"Say, incidentally, what's in the bag?" Plucky asked, gesturing to
the wolf's lunch bag.
	Willy smiled and pulled out a sandwich, a small milk carton, and a
large plastic container.  "Mom made me peanut butter and jelly, and I got
some sheep cookies too!  Anybody want some?" he asked, opening the
container.
	"Um, sheep cookies?  They're not made of ..." Babs started nervously,
looking at the cookies.
	"Made of what?" Willy asked, taking one out of the container.  They
were regular butter cookies.  These just happened to be cut into the outlines
of sheep, and had white icing on them.
	Plucky snatched the cookie out of his hand and ate it in one gulp.
"Hey!  These things are pretty good!"
	With that ringing endorsement, everyone surged forward to get some
cookies.  When the dust settled, everyone was munching on Willy's "sheep
cookies," leaving the bewildered wolf staring into an empty box.
	Shirley noticed this, and after glancing around the table, saw that
Plucky had a small pile of cookies in front of him.  "Like, he said some, not
all, Pluckface!"  She then snatched one away from the miserly duck and offered
it back to the wolf.  "Sorry, we get carried away sometimes, or some junk."
	He smiled back at her.  "Thanks.  Thank you all.  I was worried about
coming to a new school, but you guys are really nice."
	Fifi looked over at him, smiling coyly.  "Non, it ees you who are, how
you say, tres cute!'  She then batted her lashes at him seductively.  "If zhere is
anything I can do to make things up to you, anything at all, please let Fifi know,
oui?"
	"Well, it looks like everything is back to normal, right toonsters?" Buster
said, trying to settle the situation.
	Poor Willy looked like, well, like a cornered little mouse staring up at a
hungry cat.   Actually, in this case, an amorous lavender polecat.  At least he
seems normal, since most guys are afraid of Fifi, Buster thought to himself.  To
Plucky, he added "Little hot lunches?  For a potential dinner platter, you seem
to be enjoying his cookies."
	"Well, you wouldn't want me to be rude, would you Buster?" the duck
replied.
	"Yeah, well, let this be a lesson to everyone," he started, looking over
at Babs.  "Everyone deserves a chance, no matter what!"
	"Yeah, I can see that," nodded Babs.  She then twirled around, now
dressed in her "Babawa Wawters" outfit.  "And what does our new stuwdent
think of this?" she asked, thrusting a microphone into Willy's muzzle.
	He smiled.  "That's neat!  Will I be able to do things like that someday?"
	Babs twirled around again, and was in her regular clothes.  "Dunno,
maybe with practice.  So, now for the important stuff, do you like my ears better
up, or down?"
	"Rope it in, Babsie!" warned Buster.  "Don't overload him on his first
day."
	Hamton spoke up, "Willy, are you going to the Fall Festival tonight?
It's going to be held on the Looniversity grounds, and students get in for free!
It has rides, a midway, and all kinds of neat stuff, you'll love it.
	"Gee, I'd like that.  Sure, I'll come, when does it open?" Willy asked.
	"Just show up here around six, they'll let you in," Plucky answered.
"And it's free!  Say, Shirl, you wanna go with me?  The price is right, and I won't
even make you buy me anything!"
	Shirley sighed and looked over at him.  "Like, didn't we go through
this in a past life?  No, wait, that was last Tuesday.  You remember, when you
'took' me to the movies and made me pay for both of us!  Besides, I've got a
booth to run!  Y'know, Madame Shirley sees all and knows all, or some junk."
She then looked over at Willy and smiled, handing him a ticket.  "Like, this
gets you one free palm reading, don't be shy."  With that, she winked and
continued eating.
	"Shirl, what about me?" pleaded Plucky.
	"Like, bug off totally man!" she shouted back.
	Plucky leaned in close to Willy and whispered, "I'll be watching you,
so you better be good.  I'm an important star, and I've got lots of influence!"
With that, he ate the last of the cookies and sat back down.
	"I don't get it Buster," Babs started.  "You haven't said 'I told you so'
yet.  Why aren't you gloating?"
	"'Cause if I do, I'll be going to the Fall Festival alone, won't I?" Buster
answered.
	"Buster, I'm not that petty!" Babs replied, looking innocent.  She then
muttered "I'd let you take me and then stick it to you later!"
	The various conversations were cut short by the ringing of the bell
signifying the end of lunch.  Trays were put away as the students filed out,
headed to their afternoon classes.
	As classes let out for the day, Willy Wolf bounded home.  He lived
in a nice little house overlooking a small wooded area just outside the Looniversity
grounds.
	"Hi Mom, I'm home!" he shouted as he rushed through the door, throwing
his books down by the stairs.
	Mrs. Wolf emerged from the kitchen, pausing to tousle her son's hair.  "And
how was the first day of school?"
	"Well, it started out bad, but at lunch everyone talked to me, and I got invited
to the Fall Festival tonight!  They were afraid I was gonna eat them, but everything
worked out."
	She smiled down at him as she spoke.  "That's nice, dear.  Now be a good
boy and see where little John has crawled off too."
	"Aw, Mom!  Do I have to?" he complained.  He hated looking after his
baby brother.  John may be a baby, but he had nasty, sharp little teeth. Somehow,
those teeth always ended up attached to poor Willy, and no one would ever believe
him.
	"William Wolf, do you want to be grounded tonight?" his mother warned.
	"No Mom, I'll get him."  Willy relented.  "Here Johnny Johnny Johnny, here
you little monster." he called, looking under furniture and behind the couch.  "There
you are." he said, seeing the little wolf sitting under the dinner table with some toy
blocks.
	Gently, he reached under the table, and little John slid further away, watching
the hand with great interest.  Suddenly, without warning, John reared back, opening his
mouth to reveal hundreds of tiny needle-like teeth, and bit the hand.
	"OOOWWWW!"  Willy shot up, smashing his head into the underside of the
table and crashing to the floor in a heap, John still chewing on his hand
	"Here now!  What's going on in here?" asked Mrs. Wolf as she hurried in.
By this time, Johnny had let go of Willy's hand and was beaming up innocently, gurgling
and cooing.
	"Mom!  He BIT me, again!" Willy complained, examining his hand.  It was
swelled to three times it's normal size, bright red, and throbbing painfully.
	"Now Willy, you know John is just a baby.  He doesn't know any better,
do you darling?"  She picked the baby up, and he looked back over her shoulder
at Willy, grinning evilly, showing a mouthful of large, pointed teeth.
	Willy just sucked on his paw gently, helping the swelling go down,
watching the little bundle of evil get carried off.
	When he came into the kitchen, little John was sitting on the counter,
watching their mother prepare dinner.  Willy crept up on the little terror silently,
and pushed him over the side.  Johnny hit the floor with a satisfying crashing
sound, landing squarely on his head.
	"WAAAAAAHHHHHH!" he screamed, crying nonstop as Mrs.
Wolf turned around.
	"Oh, John!" she cried rushing over and scooping the baby up into
her arms.  "Hush, hush, Mommy's here now," she cooed as she jounced him
up and down to soothe him.  The little bump on his head was already beginning
to subside, as was the volume of his screaming.
	"Gee, Mom, maybe John shouldn't play so close to the edge?" Willy
commented, looking totally innocent.  It was a skill he had mastered, as
it was really his only defense against punishment.
	Mom fell for it, as usual.  "You're right dear.  I'll just hold him awhile."
	Now it was Willy's turn to smile evilly, and John glowered back, as if
to say "I'll get you for this!" as he was carried back into the kitchen.
	"Mom!  I'm going to the Festival, okay?" Willy shouted.
	"Don't stay out too late, unless you're howling at the moon, dear!"
she replied.
	With that, Willy dashed out the front door, headed back towards
the Looniversity and the Festival.
	When he arrived at the Looniversity, the grounds had been transformed.
There were tents, rides, and a small common area where he saw several of
the others milling around.  Apparently, the Festival had yet to open.
	"Hi guys!" Willy said as he joined their little group.
	"Willy, glad you could come," Buster answered.  "You remember
everyone, right?"
	The little wolf nodded.  "Uh-huh, I remember."  He was clutching
the free pass for Madame Shirley's in his paw.
	Plucky seemed about to say something after seeing the pass, but
thought better of it, instead looking around at the huge roller coaster in the
distance.  "Hey, Hammy!  Get a load of the roller coaster!  It's not as big as
the Happy-Go-Pukey, but it looks like a lotta fun!"  The green duck was
practically drooling, his eyes huge, with small roller coaster cars in them
instead of pupils.
	Hamton sighed, "I suppose you forgot your money again?"
	"Nope!" he exclaimed happily.  "I told my folks I was taking
Shirl, and they gave me ten bucks!  Pretty sneaky, don't you think?
Free money!"
	Willy looked around again, Buster and Babs were here, as were
Plucky, Hamton, Dizzy, and Gogo Dodo.  He didn't see Fifi, though.
	"What happened to Fifi?" he asked innocently.
	Buster chuckled a bit, and Babs elbowed him in the side, shooting
the blue bunny a withering stare.  Buster looked thoughtful for a moment
and answered.  "She's running the kissing booth for a few hours, if you
can believe it!"  He looked over to make sure Babs wasn't watching, and
added "At least they made sure it was downwind."  He then broke out
laughing, as did most of the others.
	Buster's laughter was cut off abruptly as Babs flattened him with
a huge mallet.  "Anybody else think Fifi's job is funny?" Babs asked,
brandishing the mallet threateningly.
	Everyone else stopped laughing as Buster peeled himself
off the head of the mallet, snapping back into shape with an audible
*POP*.
	"What's up, Babsie?" Buster asked.
	She leaned in close and whispered, "I don't want Willy scared
off by you!  Fifi thinks he's cute, okay?"
	"Fifi thinks every available guy is cute, except for Montana
Max!" Buster replied.  "Besides, Shirley seemed a little interested
herself."
	"I know, but I want things to be fair.  Look Buster, we have
each other, but Shirley and Fifi are my best friends, and I want them
to be happy.  Let things progress normally, please?"
	"It means that much to you?" Buster asked.
	Babs nodded, looking very sincere.
	Somehow, Buster knew she was serious.  "All right then!
They're opening the gates, let's go on in there and have FUN!"
	As the gates opened, the Tiny Toons scattered like dust
in a galestorm, each rocketing off in a different direction.  Buster
and Babs headed for the Tunnel of Love, Hamton and Plucky made
a beeline for the "Looney Launcher", the roller coaster Plucky had
admired earlier, Dizzy spun off towards the midway, and Willy headed
towards the center of the Festival, hoping to get his bearings.
	He looked up to see the full moon, and smiled to himself.
He had always liked the full moon, although it brought some childhood
fears with it.  It was always fun to bay at the moon when it was full, but
years ago, when he was still a pup, he had run away one night.
	He could never remember what happened that night, only that
something had scared him, a lot.  For months, he wouldn't sleep without
his mother singing him to sleep with some nonsense rhyme.  As he grew
older, the fear faded, but it never quite disappeared.  He could almost
sense that something was different whenever there was a full moon, but
he didn't know what.
	His father had convinced him that he had become a werewolf
when he was younger, in the way of all fathers making things up to tease
their children.  Although he knew it was silly, he had studied the legends
anyway.  His study took the form of old monster movies and comic books.
	After a time, he concluded that he wasn't a werewolf, because no
one ever disappeared, he never saw weird things in the palms of potential
victims, and he never found huge muddy footprints in his room when he
woke up, although he sometimes wished he WAS a werewolf so he
could eat John.
	After wandering around for a time, munching on some cotton
candy, he saw a very sad looking Fifi in a small booth.  Written in large
letters overhead on a sign was 'KISSES - $1 EACH'.  There was no one
around, and the huge roll of tickets seemed to imply that Fifi's sales
had been less then encouraging.  The poor little skunk looked to be
on the verge of tears, and Willy felt bad for her.  He had felt the same
way only hours earlier, unloved and unwanted.  He decided to see if
he could cheer her up somehow.
	"Hi, Fifi!" he greeted, waving to her as he approached.
	The lavender skunkette immediately brightened.  "Bonjour
Willy, my cute leetle wolf!  'Ow do you like zee Festival?  It ees tres
exciting, non?"  She smiled coyly and continued, "Would you like
to buy a ticket?  Perhaps two?"
	Willy began to fidget uncomfortably.  The same cuteness
that allowed him to pull off his 'innocent' act with adults seemed to
attract pretty girls as well.  Usually the tradeoff was worth it, but Fifi's
predatory looks made him wonder.  "Um, I guess one wouldn't hurt."
he replied quietly.  He didn't want to offend her, and besides, what
could one kiss hurt?
	Fifi handed him a ticket, took the dollar bill, closed her eyes,
and puckered.  When no kiss was forthcoming, she opened one eye
to see Willy standing there with his eyes closed as well.  'Ow cute,
she thought, he ees shy.  She then wrapped her tail around the
unsuspecting wolf, drew him close, and gave him a kiss that nearly
welded his lips shut.
	Willy felt the tail coil around him like a serpent, and then
felt Fifi's lips brush his own.  They then seemed to latch onto his in
a death grip as her grip tightened.  His eyes snapped open to see
Fifi's face, her eyes looking longingly into his as she proceeded to
kiss in earnest.  Steam shot out of Willy's ears, he stiffened like a
board, and then melted into a little puddle of goo.
	Fifi looked down to admire her handiwork, smiling.  "Well,
Fifi 'as not lost her touch, non!"  She then blew another kiss at the
melted toon and settled back into her chair, sighing happily.
	Willy reformed almost immediately, turning a beet red color
and dashing off.  He had never actually kissed a girl before, and
certainly never like THAT!  Fifi had nearly drained the life out of him,
and he had the scary feeling that she was only warming up.  Maybe
things had been better before he had decided to help.
	As he wandered aimlessly, he remembered the ticket Shirley
had given him.  He took it out and examined it.  It was a turquoise color,
with mystic sigils along the borders, and read 'GOOD FOR ONE FREE
PALM READING WITH MADAME SHIRLEY'.  He'd never had his palm
red, except when John bit him.  Maybe this would be interesting.
	He found his way to her tent, an elaborate affair that looked like
it belonged in the movies.  It was a deep blue with silver astrological
symbols all over it, had a peaked top, and was held open in the front
by two large poles.  Outside a sign read 'MADAME SHIRLEY - SHE
SEES ALL, SHE KNOWS ALL'.
	Suddenly a voice came from within, "Like, enter into the world
of the paranormal, or some junk."
	Amazed, Willy entered the tent to see Shirley seated at one
end of a small table, wearing a long robe and gazing into a crystal ball.
"Wow, how did you know I was outside?" he asked.
	Shirley looked over at him, then gestured to an angled mirror
at the upper corner of the tent entrance.  It was remarkably like the
security mirrors one might see in stores.  She then smiled and said
"Tricks of the trade, y'know?"
	Willy handed her the ticket, and she gestured for him to put
out his hand.  Willy complied, waiting for the red paint on the hand
gag, but Shirley took his paw and scrutinized it carefully.
	She began to chant a mystic mantra, "Ohwhatalooniam,
ohwhatalooniam" over and over.  She then opened her eyes and
gazed at his hand through her crystal ball.  "Like, the crystal sees
all and tells all.  Okay, here goes.  I see you making friends at school,
I see ... you and some cute girl, but she's, like, really blurry."  Shirley
whacked the side of the ball, as if to clear it up, and continued.  "Major
bummer!  I can't see who she is.  I see danger, wait, the vision fading,
everything's going blank, time's up!" she exclaimed.
	Willy had been staring intently into the crystal, trying to see
Shirley's visions, but he didn't see anything.  "That's all? Nothing more?"
he asked.
	"Nope, that's all I saw.  Sorry," she said.  She then smiled at him
and batted her eyes playfully.  "Like, I can't be sure, but maybe that girl
was a cute loon."  She then reached out to take his hand, and Willy's
eyes went wide as dinner plates.
	Her hand, it was right there in her hand!  He could see it, just
like in the movies.  On Shirley's palm was a silver pentagram, a star
enclosed in a circle!  It could only mean one thing, he was a werewolf,
and Shirley was his next victim! It was just like in the movies!
	He pushed her hand away.  "Shirley, you've got to get away!"
	She looked back at him curiously, and answered. "Like, I know
some boys are shy, but, like, I don't bite, and I trust you, remember?
What are you scared of?
	"No!  You don't understand!" he shouted.  "When the moon
is full, I become a beast!"
	Shirley winked and smiled slyly.  "Yeah, like, you and every
other boy, handsome."  She sidled closer, closing her eyes and puckering.
She began to understand why Fifi liked chasing boys so much, it gave her
a little electric thrill.
	The sudden rush of air made her open her eyes, and Willy was
nowhere to be seen.  The fluttering tent flap and the rapidly dissipating
dust told her that he had run out at high speed.  She sighed to herself
and settled back, suddenly noticing her hand.  "Rats!  I got some of
that stupid paint on my hand!"
	She stared wistfully into the night sky.  Oh well, if it was meant
to be, the spirits would bring her and Willy together.  If not, he would
likely get caught by Fifi.  She wasn't happy with the idea of losing, but
at least it would be to one of her best friends.
	Willy was running at breakneck speed away from the tent.  He
couldn't be a monster, he just couldn't!  Nothing made sense, but it was
clear from the mark on Shirley's hand that she was to be his prey.  He
was so intent on getting away before he began to change, that he ran
headlong into a tree.  CRASH!  The impact knocked him cold, and he
fell into some bushes nearby, obscured from view.
	Shirley heard the crashing noise from her tent.  She listened
intently, in case there were any more noises.  When none were forthcoming,
she wandered out into the night.
	"Like, hello?  Anyone there?" she called.  Nothing, absolutely
nothing.  "Plucky!" she cried angrily, stamping her webbed foot.  "If that's
you, I'm gonna zap you good!"
	Suddenly there was a rustling from the bushes nearby.  As she
walked over to investigate, a large shadow loomed over her from behind.
Shirley's cry of surprise was cut off in mid-shriek, and then, silence.
	The first thing Willy was aware of was the throbbing pain in his
head.  As he stirred, he found himself in a pile of bushes.  It was still night,
but much later than he remembered.  In fact, the last thing he remembered
was running away from Shirley.  She had given him the same predatory look
as Fifi, and then he saw the pentagram!
	It all came back to him, the vision, the running, and the tree.  He
looked over to see it, a massive tree, now with a large crack in it where he
had careened into the trunk.  Everything seemed to be all right, so he
headed home quietly, not even stopping to howl at the moon.  It was
late when he got in, but his parents were very understanding.
	Mom was worried, but his father calmed her down.  "Now dear,
we were young once, remember?  It was a wonderful moon, and I'm sure
Willy just lost track of time, right son?"
	Willy just nodded.  He was more worried about what he had seen.
If he was a werewolf, no one was safe!  Then the voice of reason, his brain,
kicked in and reassured him.  He would see Shirley in class tomorrow, and
then everything would be fine.  Well, everything except the advances that
Fifi and Shirley had made.  Maybe something would come to him, and if
not, he could take heart in the knowledge that he was probably faster
than they were.
	Willy didn't sleep well at all, tossing and turning all night.  His
dreams were full of howls, crashing through the underbrush, and visions
of poor Shirley running in terror from some unknown assailant.  Come
morning, he awoke in a cold sweat.
	On the way to school, the bright sun and cool breeze did a lot
to cheer him up.  Nature seemed to be in full swing, and last night's fears
seemed silly in the rational light of the daytime sun.  He saw most of the
others milling around their lockers as he arrived at the Looniversity.  His
blood ran cold when he saw that Shirley wasn't with them.
	"Um, where's Shirley?" he asked innocently.
	"There you are!" exclaimed Buster.  "We all wondered what
happened to you last night.  Fifi said you came to visit her and then
ran off ..."
	At this point, Fifi smiled warmly at him and winked.
	"... and we couldn't find you." finished Buster.
	"We don't know where Shirl is," Plucky added.  "Her tent
was empty, and all we found was a piece of her robe and a couple
of feathers."  He chuckled and continued, "Poor Shirl must be molting,
and afraid to come to school!"  He then broke out laughing at the thought
of a featherless Shirley the Loon, which appeared in a thought balloon
over his head.
	As the laughing continued, the dream-Shirley gestured.  A sharp
whistling sound was heard, and a huge anvil flattened Plucky like a pancake.
The anvil then faded away with the vision of Shirley that Plucky had
created.
	Plucky's voice erupted from the anvil shaped indentation in the
floor, "Check, please."
	As the others were about to add their conjectures, the bell rang,
signifying the start of classes for the day.
	Today should have been a much better day for Willy.  Everyone
was talking to him now, and he was even meeting some of the less well-
known toons, among them Barky Marky, Lil' Sneezer, Furball, and Sweetie
Pie.  Unfortunately, he was preoccupied with last night.  He supposed it
was possible that Plucky was right, that Shirley was just staying home, but
there were too many unanswered questions.  So, he did the only thing he
could, he asked the show's costars for advice.
	At lunch, he managed to sit down with Buster and Babs before
anyone else arrived.  He decided to ask them now.
	"Buster, Babs, do you believe in monsters?"
	"What?  What kind of question is that?  Of course there are
monsters, this is a cartoon!" Buster exclaimed.
	"Wait a minute, Buster," Babs interrupted.  "I think he's more
serious than that, aren't you?" she asked of Willy.
	The little wolf nodded and continued.  "What I mean is, well,
I mean, there was a full moon, and Shirley's gone, and, werewolves come
out at a full moon, and, well she was okay when I saw her, and ..."
	Both rabbits burst out laughing.  Babs, in her typical overactive
manner was rolling around on the floor, while milk was spouting from Buster's
nostrils in twin streams.
	"Hee hee, that's rich!  A werewolf at Acme Acres!" Babs managed to
spit out between fits of laughter.
	"Yeah!  Come on Willy, just take it easy!  No one's a werewolf!"
Buster added.
	"What's everyone laughing about?" Hamton asked as he sat down.
	"Willy thinks a werewolf got Shirley!"  Buster started.
	"More than that, I think he thinks he's the werewolf!" Babs
finished.
	"Really?  You don't look like a werewolf." Hamton said innocently.
"I'm sure that Shirley is just fine.  Maybe she's cleaning house.  It's always
so dusty and gloomy there."
	By this time, Plucky and Fifi had arrived as well.  Thankfully for
Willy, he was already seated between Hamton and Babs, so Fifi had to
settle for sitting across from him.  As she sat down, she tickled him under
the nose with her tail.
	"Bonjour, mon petite 'andsome wolf!" she said, blowing him a kiss.
	Willy waved shyly, shrinking back into his seat slightly.  Any
predatory impulses his wolf blood might have held were being purged
rather quickly by the amorous skunk's advances.
	Eager to change the subject and save Willy, Hamton decided
to help.  "Gee Plucky, did you hear the news?  Willy thinks there might
be a werewolf here, and that it might have gotten Shirley!"
	"No kidding?  Well, don't you worry!  Shirley can take care of
herself.  I ought to know, she tells me constantly." Plucky replied.
However, he was already hatching ideas in his head.  Maybe Shirley
would stop paying attention to the new kid if everyone DID think he
was a monster.  He began to ponder his next scheme.
	The table was abuzz with conversation, and Willy was once
more put at ease.  It had been silly to think he was a monster.  These
were his new friends, and he would never hurt them, no matter what.
Even Fifi's flirting wasn't so bad, he had been told that this was how
she acted normally.  Hopefully, someone new would catch her eye
and he would be off the hook soon.
	As school let out for the day, Willy raced off into the woods.
He could get some quality romping in before dinner, and burn off some
of his excess energy.  Little did he know that he was being watched
intently from the school.
	"Hiya, Feef!" Babs called, waving to her friend.
	Fifi, who had been watching Willy run into the woods, jumped
straight up into the air, landing in a heap.
	"Babs!  Do not surprise moi like zhat!" she flushed, clearly
embarrassed.
	Babs was giggling now, trying to compose herself.  "I'm
sorry, but I just can't help myself!  What are you up to, checking
Willy out again?"
	Fifi nodded and sighed wistfully.  "Yes, but he is, 'ow you
say, tres reluctant, non?"  She then pulled a picnic basket out from
behind a bush, and tied a bright red hood and cape on herself.
"Zhere!  No self-respecting wolf would be able to resist, non?  It
ees ze latest in wolf 'unting fashion!"
	"Go get 'im Feef!" Babs encouraged.  "Just remember to
play the line out a little, or you might lose him."  She waved as her
friend, now decked out like a skunkette version of Little Red Riding
Hood, made her way into the woods.  She was no expert, but it looked
like Fifi would be the clear forerunner in this chase.  She wished Shirley
well, but poor Fifi just never seemed to have any luck.  Maybe that
was about to change.
	Fifi made her way into the woods, skipping merrily along
the dirt path.  She had decided that this might be a better way to
approach the shy wolf, as she seemed to scare most of her potential
boyfriends with her aggressive pursuit.  Now she would let him come
to her, and then, after he thought it was his idea to follow her, she
could pounce!  She was proud of herself for being so clever.
	As the afternoon wore on, Fifi began to get discouraged.
She had seen neither hide nor hair of her prey, and it was getting late.
She should be getting home, she thought to herself.  At least she had
the bright light of the full moon to guide her.
	Fifi turned back, headed towards her home, the Acme
junkyard, when she heard the snap of a branch behind her.  She
turned, her heart soaring.  Willy had been following her all along,
and she had nearly given up on him!  As a huge shadow rose from
the brush, she realized that it was too big to be Willy.  As she
prepared to defend herself in typical skunk manner, the shape
descended, and she screamed.
	After a few moments, there was nothing left but Fifi's picnic
basket and cloak, both laying in the dirt on the path.  There was no
sign of the sexy skunkette or her attacker, the only witness to the
affair being the full moon.

	At the same time, Plucky was making his way stealthily to
the Wolf home.  He was determined to find out once and for all if the
young wolf had something to hide.  Finding an open window, he
crept in silently to find himself in what must have been Willy's room.
What luck!  A quick scan of the contents of the room confirmed it.
The bed was in one corner, the open doorway led to a clothes closet,
and the open door on the far wall gave access to the rest of the
house.
	Plucky went to the most obvious place to look, under the
bed.  Reaching down, he felt something smooth and pulled it out.
It was a small wooden box.  Opening it quickly, he was astonished
by the contents inside.  There were lots of books and videos, all
dealing with werewolves!  Buster had been wrong, Willy MUST
be a werewolf.  He might have already eaten Shirley!
	Plucky thrust his hand underneath the bed again, in hopes
of finding something, anything, that might tell him where their missing
classmate was.  His hand brushed against something small and furry.
More determined now, he grabbed the object, only to jerk his hand
back in pain.  Something had bitten him!  Peering cautiously under the
bed, he saw a pair of glowing eyes.  In a panic, Plucky screamed, grabbed
the box, and jumped through the open window, headed for home.
	As the duck ran into the night, John crawled out from under the
bed, a few green feathers sticking out of his mouth.  He giggled wickedly,
showing off rows of razor-keen teeth.  John then toddled off towards the
kitchen.  Maybe he could find Willy, and bite him too.  The thought
caused the baby wolf to giggle again in wicked glee.
	Plucky slammed and bolted the door to his house, piling
furniture in front of it as well.  Satisfied that he was safe, Plucky began
to read.  "Wait'll the others see this!  We have to do something!"

	Late that night, Willy couldn't sleep.  There was far too much
on his mind.  Willy had hoped that Shirley was all right, but her absence
from school cast some doubt on his earlier assumptions.  He had been
convinced that he wasn't a monster, now he wasn't sure.  What made
things more troubling had been the feeling that he was being watched
after school.  All the time he was in the woods, someone or something
had been watching him, he was sure of it.  Unfortunately, he hadn't
found anyone, only a red cloak and picnic basket.  He would bring
them to school tomorrow, maybe someone had lost them.
	The scene at the steps of the Looniversity the next morning
was very similar to his first day.  As he approached, everyone fell
silent.  Babs' eyes went wide when she saw the red cloak in his hands.
	"Those are Fifi's!" she yelled angrily.  "How did you get them?"
	"I found them in the woods, over there." he answered,
pointing back towards the heavily wooded area.  He couldn't
understand why Babs was so upset.  Then realization struck as
he realized who wasn't with the group.
	Fifi was gone.  Under normal circumstances, he would
have been glad that the skunk wasn't here.  But now, considering
what had happened, he feared the worst.  The angry stares from
his friends weren't helping matters, either.  All things considered,
he'd rather be facing down Elmyra right now.
	The scene changed abruptly to a police interrogation
room.  Babs and Buster were asking him questions, dressed as
miniature rabbit versions of Columbo, while Hamton and Plucky
stood by and watched.  Willy was sitting in a small chair, sweating
profusely underneath a huge spotlight.
	"Where were you two nights ago?" Buster asked, fixing
his in a gaze with one eye.  The other, in true Peter Falk fashion, was
wandering lazily.
	"I was at the Festival." Willy started.
	Babs took up the questioning next.  "Well, you see sir, there's
just one thing I don't understand.  We were all at the festival, but the
only one that saw you after the opening was Fifi.  That bothers me."
	"But I saw Shirley!  She gave me a palm reading, and then she,
um ..." he defended, looking over at Plucky nervously.  He knew that the
two were an on-again, off-again thing, but wasn't looking forward to
getting the little green duck even angrier.
	"She what, sir?  She maybe told you something you didn't
like, so you stashed her away somewhere?" Buster theorized.
	"No, She, she flirted a little.  But then something terrible
happened  I, I saw a pentagram on her hand.  I had to run away, before
I did something horrible!"
	"Like eat her!" Plucky accused in a loud and dramatic voice.
"Do you expect us to believe that Shirley would pass up a guy like me
for a hairball like you?"  Outraged, he continued, "I found these," he
said, indicating the books and videos, "under your bed.  How do you
explain them?"
	Now Willy began to squirm uncomfortably in his chair.  "I, I
guess I'm a werewolf." he admitted sadly.
	The four looked at each other in shock, the rabbits reverting
to their normal appearance.  They began to whisper among themselves.
Finally they seemed to reach a consensus, and approached him.
	"We're sorry it came to this, but until we find the others, we've
decided to lock you up,"  Hamton explained.  "Then, when we find them
and get the real story, we'll decide what to do with you."
	The four became a blur of motion, tying the little wolf to the chair
with yards of rope.  They then put him by the window, where he could see
most of the Looniversity grounds.
	The group then split up, Buster and Babs going in one direction
while Hamton and Plucky headed off in another.  Willy, helpless to do
anything but watch in horror, stared out the window, watching the sun
set.  Soon the full moon was high in the nighttime sky, and Willy gazed
up at it.  The object that used to bring him such joy was now a horrible
sight, a curse that was reminding him of all he must have done.  Grimly,
he awaited the inevitable transformation.
	"Hey, Hammy!  Here's something interesting!" Plucky exclaimed.
	Hamton sighed.  They had been searching for hours, and he
had the feeling that Plucky had gotten them both lost.  For the past
hour, Plucky had tried to find something interesting in every twig and
branch he saw.  "What is it this time?" he asked in exasperation.
	"Look!  On this branch, it's one of Shirley's feathers, I'm sure
of it!"  the duck shouted.
	Upon further inspection, it seemed that Plucky was right.  It
did look at lot like one of the loon's feathers!  Hamton spoke up.  "Maybe
she's around here somewhere.  You look over there, I'll look here, and we'll
meet up in five minutes, okay?"
	"Sure, Hammy!"  Plucky then set off to look a few yards away.
After about five minutes of fruitless searching, he heard a loud noise.
In typical cowardly fashion, he raced back to where he was supposed
to meet Hamton.  Turning back towards the noise, he bumped into
someone.
	"Hamton, *ulp* Is that you?" he whispered.
	When no reply came, he turned around slowly.  The figure
certainly wasn't Hamton!  Whatever it was, is was big, much too
big to be any of the Tiny Toons.  As the shadowy figure loomed
over him, it reached out with big hands.
	Plucky whimpered a single word, "Mother!", and passed
out.  The evil figure then laughed maniacally and put Plucky into a
large sack.  Hamton, was already inside, and just as unconscious
as his green friend.  The figure then walked off into the night.
	Some distance away, Buster and Babs were doing a more
thorough search.  Babs was calling at the top of her lungs.  "Fiiiifiiiii!
Shiiiiirleeeeeeey!  Can you hear us?"
	Buster was looking over a map, flashlight in hand.  "Babsie, I
think we're lost." he finally admitted.
	"Oh, that's just great!  And you won't even ask for directions!
Hmmpph!  Typical guy thing!" she snorted.
	There was total silence except for the chirping of crickets.  "Uh,
Babs, who do you want me to ask?" he replied sarcastically.
	Eager to change the subject, Babs cuddled up to Buster, looking
into his eyes.  "Buster?"
	"Yeah Babs."
	"Do you really think Willy did something?  I mean, maybe if he
had a name like Lawrence Talbot or something ..."
	Buster looked pensive for a moment before replying.  "I just
don't know.  I mean, all the evidence points to him.  He admits he was
the last to see Shirley, you yourself say Fifi went into the woods looking
for him and never came out, and then Plucky finds those things on
werewolves after Willy himself asked if I believed in them.  It just
doesn't look good."
	"But he's cute!  And Fifi really thought she liked this one!"
Babs said.  "How can such a cute little wolf be a monster?"
	"Two words Babs, 'bad writers'.  Well, in this case, only one
writer, but it looks pretty obvious.  I just hope we find them soon."
	The two walked a few feet down the path, and came across a
poorly concealed pit trap.  Long branches and leaves had been placed
in a 10 foot by 10 foot square along the path.
	"Oh please!  Are we just supposed to fall into this, this
ridiculous attempt at a trap?"  Babs was outraged.  To show her
contempt, she threw a large rock into the center of the trap, causing
the branches and leaves to fall into the pit they had concealed.
Unfortunately, it also triggered two small cages.  They sprung up
from the dirt to enclose the pair, padlocks snapping into place and
holding the spring-loaded tops closed.  Both rabbits were now
helpless.
	"Great work Babs!  These things even have a metal floor
so we can't tunnel out!"
	Babs shrugged innocently.  "Who knew?"
	Soon the same shadowy figure collected up the cages,
and carried them off with a wicked laugh.  Babs could be heard to
say "Hey!  You're not Willy!" as they were taken away into the night.

	Willy struggled against his bonds, but they were too tight.
Babs had mentioned that she was a Bunny Scout, and that she had
the ropeworks badge.  She hadn't been bragging, either.  The little
rabbit had made surprisingly effective knots, and he couldn't get
free at first.
	After a great deal of squirming, he finally positioned
himself so that he could bring his teeth to bear on the ropes, and
made short work of them.  In a few moments, he was free.
	"I have to do something!" he shouted.
	He headed over to the stuff they had collected, and an
idea hit him like an anvil.  No, there was a distinct whistling sound,
and a resounding crash.  Willy was flattened by a huge anvil, a real
one.  After crawling out from underneath the large iron object, he
again looked at the items.
	Of course!  He was a wolf!  All this time, and the answers
were right in front of his face.  More specifically, his nose!  He could
get their scent from the cloak and feathers, and track them to wherever
they had gone.  He cursed himself for not thinking of it sooner, he
could have saved himself days of worry and concern, and he might
even have still had friends
	Willy sniffed delicately at Fifi's cloak, and winced.  Even
when she wasn't trying to stink, there was the slightest hint of her
repellent musk, and Willy's sensitive nose could detect it.  Ugh!
Still, this had to be done if he wanted to find his friends.
	He braced himself, and took a deeper sniff.  There was
something else, something familiar.  The recognition hit him like
a mallet.  Ducking, he looked around warily, but no descending
mallet was to be seen.  His whole body began to tremble.  The
other odor was something from years ago, it was a smell from
when he had run away.
	Willy braced himself and began to track, starting at the
point where he found the cloak originally.
	Meanwhile, Buster and Babs were dangling, still in their
cages, from chains attached to the ceiling.  Looking around, they
saw all the others, Shirley, Fifi, Plucky, and Hamton, all in similar
arrangements.  They were all hanging in what looked like a mad
scientist's lab, and a very familiar one at that.
	Although each toon was in his or her own cage, Shirley's
and Fifi's seemed to be slightly different.  Fifi's had a small spray
nozzle on the top, and holes in the bottom, and Shirley's seemed to
be made of a clear, soundproof plastic, with wall-mounted speakers.
The loon was blocking her ears, eyes squeezed shut and curled into
a fetal position on the bottom of her cage.
	Their "host" had disappeared immediately after hanging
them from hooks near their friends.  Buster was the first to speak.
"Fifi, Hamton, Plucky!  You're all okay!  What's up with Shirley, and
where are we?"
	Hamton replied first, "I don't know where we are, but it looks
familiar, like we should recognize it."
	Plucky burst in next.  "We're doomed, I tell you, doomed!"
He then broke down, sobbing and crying.  "I'm too young to die.  I
don't even have a movie deal.  It can't end like this!"
	Fifi was next, in a reserved voice.  "We are, 'ow you say,
experiments.  Shirley ees in ze glass cage zo she cannot use 'er powers."
She looked scared, much more so than when she had been held prisoner
at Elmyra's house.
	Buster and Babs looked at each other, and back out at the others.
This was terrible!  They had blamed an innocent wolf, were being held
prisoner somewhere, and at least half of them were incapacitated or
despondent! Could things get any worse?
	Almost as if he had read their thoughts, the shadowy
stranger walked back into the lab, chuckling evilly.  "Well there
rabbits, I bet you never expected to see *ME* again!"  The figure
cast off a large overcoat to reveal ... Doctor Gene Splicer!
	Everyone gasped as the madman was revealed.
	"Hey, weren't you stuck with the body of a rooster?" Buster
accused.
	"I got better, so sue me!" Splicer retorted.  "All this time, and
I've been plotting just what to do when I caught you.  Unfortunately,
nothing came to me, so I guess we'll fall back on the old standby."
	"But what about Shirley and Fifi?" Babs asked.  "This doesn't
concern them."
	"No, no it doesn't, but then, I'm evil!  Catching the loon was
sheer luck.  She was away from the rest of you, so I grabbed her!"  he
laughed.
	"What are you doing to her?" Plucky asked.
	"That?" he asked, gesturing towards Shirley's cage.  "Well,
when I found out that she had special powers, I had to nullify them.  I
used the most powerful thing I could think of, Muzak!"
	"That's ... horrible!" Babs exclaimed.  "No one was ever intended
to listen to overglorified elevator music for days on end!"
	Splicer was about to reply when an alarm chirped on his watch.
"Time for another dose, my little Parisian polecat!" he said, turning to Fifi.
	Fifi shrank back in her cage.  "Non!  Please monsieur, 'ave
mercy wis poor Fifi!"
	"Not a chance!" he replied grimly, pulling a lever.
	Suddenly a torrent of tomato juice sprayed from the nozzle
mounted in the ceiling of the cage, dousing Fifi completely.  The juice
drained through the holes in the cage floor, leaving a soggy, sad skunk.
	"And that keeps the little skunk in line!" he laughed.  "I'll
give you a little time to think over your horrible fate.  Now that you're
all together, I can think of ways to put you all together, if you get my
meaning!"  He walked out the door, laughing.
	"We gotta get out of here!" Babs said.  "Any ideas, Buster?"
	"Nope, not a one." he replied.
	"Hey, maybe Willy will get loose and bring help!" Hamton suggested.
	"Not likely, not after the way you guys treated him," Plucky answered.
	"Us!  You're the one who ..." Buster started.
	"Please, zhis fighting gets us nowhere, non?"  Fifi said.
	"She's right," agreed Babs.  "We need a plan.  If we could
destroy those speakers, Shirl could zap us free.":
	"What's the plan, Babseroo?" Buster asked.
	Babs' ears drooped.  "I don't have one.  This time, it looks
like Splicer really *has* thought of everything."  She then began to
cry, in her typical dramatic manner.
	"Don't cry Babsie, we're the Tiny Toons.  We've been in
worse spots.  Remember our first time slot?   We survived that!"
Buster said.
	The doctor came back in, wearing his labcoat and wheeling
in a tray of surgical instruments.
	"Don't think I'll make the same mistake with all of you this time.
There's no stupid assistant to screw things up.  Now I can, eh?"  His
attention was diverted by a flashing red light on a console nearby.
	Splicer leaned over and threw a switch.  The entire lab lit up,
and the toons could see more of their surroundings.  The lab was
almost exactly like the one they had been imprisoned in months ago.
There was a huge vat in the center of the room, filled with bubbling
chemicals.  Complex computers lined the walls, and a large monitor
screen was situated in front of them.
	The screen hummed to life, depicting little Willy Wolf sniffing
at the door to the lab.
	"How nice!  Company!" the doctor cackled.
	"Willy, run!" Babs screamed.
	"Forget it, he can't hear us." Buster said quietly.
	"'Ow sweet.  Zee cute leetle wolf 'as come to rescue us!"
Fifi said, clasping her hands to her chest as soft violin music began
to play in the background.
	"So much for the cavalry," added Plucky dejectedly.
	"Ha ha, so much indeed!" the doctor added, throwing another
battery of switches.
	Another cage slid into view, the top still open.  At the same
time, a chute opened in the ceiling above it.  On the monitor, a trap
door opened beneath the unsuspecting wolf, and he dropped like a
rock, coming to rest in the cage, which locked up tight.
	"You!" Willy exclaimed, his eyes bugging out of his head.
	"You!" Splicer replied.  "You're the one that got away!  You
were my Hyper Adrenaline Transmorphing Lupine Subject #199222A!"
	"He was what?" asked Babs.
	"He was my science experiment, see?" he said, reaching into
the cage and grabbing Willy's right foot.  On the underside was a brand
that read 'IF FOUND, RETURN TO GENE SPLICER'.  "I always wondered
what became of you!"
	Willy was trembling as old repressed memories were recalled.  It
was as if floodgates in his mind had been opened suddenly.
	The flashback began with little baby Willy crawling through the
forest, innocently minding his own business.  The sky was dark, the only
light coming from the full moon overhead.  A flash of lightning lit up the
scene, and Doctor Splicer was looming over the terrified pup.  Since Willy
was so small, it had been easy enough for the doctor to carry him away.
	Another lightning flash, and the scene changed,  Baby Willy was
in a small cage, complete with newspapers lining the floor and a water bottle
within easy reach.  The doctor looked in, an evil smile on his face.  "Soon,
my boy, and you will become my greatest triumph!"  He then proceeded to
laugh manically.
	As the storm raged, Willy was injected with an unknown compound.
In typical baby fashion, Willy had outsmarted his captor (much as John seemed
to do to Willy now).  He feigned sleep, and when the doctor opened the cage,
he had bitten the man and escaped, crawling off into the night, and eventually
home.  Another recalled crack of thunder brought him back to the present.
	Willy had escaped once, largely through luck.  It was unlikely he
could do so again, so it was time to try something new.
	"Um, Mister mad doctor sir?" Willy started.
	"What is it 199222A?"
	"If I stay, would you let the others go?  I mean, you don't really
want them, and I promise not to run away or anything, okay?" he pleaded.
	"You've got to be kidding!" the doctor exclaimed.  "Even if I did
let them go, which I won't, they'd try to rescue you.  No, you're all staying."
	He then moved over to the girls, sliding their cages over to the vat.
"Ladies first." he chuckled.  "I wonder what I'll get?"
	The boys struggled and strained, but to no avail as Shirley, Fifi,
and Babs were slowly lowered towards the soupy mix of chemicals.
	"Let - them - GO!" shouted Willy.  Only, the last word didn't really
sound like Willy.  It was much deeper, and echoed throughout the labs.
	All eyes turned towards the little wolf in his cage, now frothing at
the mouth, eyes glowing a bright red.  His violent struggles caused the
chain holding the cage aloft to break, but by the time it hit the ground,
Willy had ... changed.
	He had grown too large for the cage to hold, and the bars bent
and broke as Willy broke free.  His shirt and sneakers, in typical Incredible
Hulk fashion, were destroyed as he grew.  When the transformation had
completed, Willy towered over everyone, standing a good seven feet tall.
His normally neat brown fur was long and wild, and his eyes still had the
reddish glow.  He looked more bestial and menacing, all traces of little Willy
Wolf were gone.  Guttural snarls and growls erupted from a mouth filled to
capacity with swordlike teeth.
	He began to slowly lumber towards Splicer, roaring and growling
as he approached.
	For once, the toons were speechless.  Nothing had prepared them
for this.  The little wolf had become a monster.  It seemed that Dr. Splicer's
experiment had succeeded beyond his wildest expectations.
	"Now now, let's not be hasty." the doctor chided, dangling the
girls over the vat.  The monster stopped it's advance, watching carefully.
	At that moment, the door opened, and a Japanese tour group
entered the labs.  A lovely young guide was chatting to them as they
took pictures of everything.
	The guide described the scene as they passed, "And here we
see Doctor Gene Splicer menacing the cast of Tiny Toon Adventures.
Behind them is the infamous Wolfzilla, who ..."
	"Aiieeee!  Wolfzilla, we must flee!" one tourist screamed,
mouth not moving in synch with the voice.  The scream attracted
the beast's attention, and he roared.
	As one, the group shot out the door.  Wolfzilla shot a
burst of atomic flame after them as they fled.  He then turned to the
doctor, advancing on him again, jaws working menacingly.
	The doctor looked to the side before commenting.  "Isn't it
funny how we villans give someone nearly invincible power, and never
once consider that they'll use it on us?  Just one of those things, I guess."
He then pulled a small gun from his belt and fired.  "Naptime, fuzzy!"
	The dart hit Wolfzilla in the chest, but seemed to have little effect.
Then a small hatch opened in the rear of the dart, and a robotic hand
holding a large mallet emerged.  The mallet was raised high, and brought
crashing down.
	SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!  The first blow made Wolfzilla roar
again, the second flattened the top of his head, and the third drove his
head between his shoulders like a piledriver.  The dart then fell off, its
job done.
	Wolfzilla's head snapped back into place with a loud POP!  He
then pounced on the doctor, folding, spindling, and mutilating him.
	The others, riveted to the scene, looked away as Wolfzilla did
things that they wouldn't have wished on their worst enemies, even a
network censor.
	The beast finally grew tired of the game, folded Splicer into a
tiny origami wafer, and dropped him into the vat.
	"Not again!" the wafer protested as it fell into the soup.
	The monstrous beast then turned to the toons, cocking his
head to one side curiously.
	Babs twirled in her cage, coming out the spitting image of Fay
Wray.  "Wolfzilla, get us down!  Down!"
	The beast nodded, recognition dawning on his tiny mind.  He
lumbered over and freed them from their cages.  As his anger subsided,
he began to shrink, finally reverting to his normal form.  Miraculously,
his shirt and sneakers reappeared also.
	The other toons gathered around him, clapping him on the back
and congratulating him.  No one noticed the Splicer-headed snake
slithering out of the vat.
	"I'll be back!" the snake threatened as it disappeared into a
hole in the wall.
	After the others told Willy what he had done, he seemed
relieved.  "So I'm not really a werewolf?  I didn't eat anybody?"
	"Like, no way!" Shirley answered.  "You've got a sweet,
friendly aura."
	"But what about the pentagram?" he asked, still unconvinced.
	"Ooops, like, that was leftover paint from the tent!  Major
bummer, sorry" she apologized.
	"So, no hard feelings then?" Plucky asked.
	"If you guys are sure you wanna be my friends ..." he asked
as they all hugged him in turn.
	"Some more than others, non?" Fifi started, batting her eyes.
"Would you be my ... boyfriend?"
	Willy took off, running faster than he had ever run.  Fifi just
watched a moment before setting out after him at a leisurely pace.
	The others just watched them go.  "So, everything back to
normal?" asked Babs.
	"Looks that way," Buster answered.
	Meanwhile, Willy had stopped to catch his breath.  Absolutely
exhausted, he looked around at his surroundings.  There were outdoor
cafes, people in funny hats, and ... the Eiffel Tower!  He had run all the
way to Paris.  A sudden sense of dread overtook the wolf as he heard a
noise.
	"Ahem."
	He turned, only to see Fifi posing behind him, tail pulled
coquettishly in front of her.  She was looking over it at him seductively
Willy didn't even have the energy to scream as she pounced.
	"I am like, 'ow you say, zee Mounties, non?  Fifi always get
'er man!"  She then planted frenzied kisses all over the hapless wolf
as the screen irised out.  The background was red, and the shape was
a heart rather than a circle.

THE END

Tune in next time when Willy makes the big decision, the SKUNKETTE
or the LOON.  All feedback is welcome.  Do you want to see Willy again?
Do you have a preference as to who he ends up with?  Drop me a line!