OLD FRIEND,
                                      NEW PERSON

By : JERELL DRAKES 
e-mail: drakes@trinidad.net

                                             Act  1

     It is a sunny morning, and the children of Acme Looniversity are
busily in the corridors taking to their friends and walking to their
lockers. We find Buster early for school for once, opening his locker
and Plucky has just approached him. When Buster opened his locker
a green fume rose into the air and floated to Plucky.
     Plucky: "Hey Buster, how's -huh?" sniff, sniff.  "P.U.!!! What' s
that awful smell?"
     Buster : "My gym socks."
     He lifts his gym socks out of the locker and throws it behind him
without looking.
     Babs: "Groooss! When I find that wise guy I'm going to make him
eat these socks."
     Buster closes his locker with a few books under his left arm and
faces Plucky. Then a boy with brown pants, denim blue sleeveless
jacket on top of a white shirt and an orange cap passes by.
     Boy: " Morning Buster."
     Buster: "Oh, hi Jeff!"
     Plucky reacted two second later with an eye popping take.
     Plucky: "What a minute! Something is seriously wrong here!"
     He grabs Jeff by the collar and brings him to screen where Plucky
and Buster is.
     Jeff: "Hey, what is going on?"
     Plucky: "O.K. fun's over, now take off that costume."
     Jeff: "What costume?"
     Plucky: "This one!"
     Plucky pulls Jeff's nose to get the mask off. But instead, he
stretches the boy's nose. Plucky gives up lets go and the nose is now
hanging like an elephant's trunk. Jeff bends his flap of the cap
downwards and the nose snaps back the way it was.
     Plucky: "Hey Buster, how do you take off this mask?"
     Buster: "You don't. That's his real face."
     Plucky: "O.K. then explain this, when Babs and I betted who will
get their photos the most in the year book and you got the most as
posing like this boy here."
     Jeff: "Maybe I can explain, you see, when Buster wanted to teach
you and Babs a lesson."
     (Babs enters the scene)
     "Buster wanted a disguise of a common looking student, so I took
the offer and got a costume of myself for Buster. Since Buster couldn't
of been at so many places at once, I decided to help and let Buster
take the credit."
     Babs: "So Buster, who's your two-timing friend?"
     Buster: "Babs, meet Jeff Johnson, Jeff meet Barbara Anne Bunny."
     Babs: "Busterrrr!"
     Buster: "Or preferred as 'Babs'."
     Jeff: "It is an honor to meet a nice lady like you."
     Babs giggles.
     Babs: "Hey Buster, why don't you be nice to me like your friend?"
     Buster: "Hey! I treat you good."
     Babs: "Yeah, the last time you treated me that romantic. You
squirted me with water!"
      Plucky: "How come I don't see you around here?"
     Jeff: "That's because I was doing some very hard work."
     Plucky: "Oh, yeah. And what's that, pray tell." He folded his arms
as he said this.
     Jeff: "Here is an example; when Hamton was going to fight Monty
but used the props and special effects. Who do you think did those
effects? When you guys did Saturday Afternoon Live, who do think
dropped the ship and anvils and pianos? Me! That's who. I did all that
and more. Even though, I didn't get any credit. I was just happy doing
that kind of job, for you."
     Plucky: "But why?"
     Jeff: "I liked what I did. Helping you out with your problems
without interfering."
     Just then Shirley hovered into the scene.
     Babs: "Hey Shirl, let me introduce to you, Jeffery."
     Shirley:  "Oh, it's like totally nice to meet to you , or some junk."
     Then with a small hop, Jeff was flying! He crossed his legs and put
his hands together as if he was going to pray.
      Jeff: "It is an honor to meet you, Shirley."
     He made a bow and floated back down.
     Buster: "How did you do that?"
     Jeff: "With this."
     He took off his bag he was carrying and put it on the ground by his
left foot. On his back was a two motor jet pack. Hamton walks into
the scene.
     Jeff: "This is the fastest jet motor in America. What makes it
special is the fuel, Calamity and I made this fuel to be environmental."
     Hamton: "Wow!!"
     Jeff put the jet pack down on the floor and took out a black remote
with a speaker and a green button beneath it. He pressed the button
and spoke;
     Jeff: "To Calamity."
     The jet pack rose into the air and went through all the walls, even
the lab of Calamity.
     Jeff: "I need to work on those bugs."
     Plucky: "Jeffery, I'd like you to meet Hamton. Hamton meet
Jeffery."
     Hamton: "Hi, pleased to meet you."
     Jeff: "Good day, Hamton."
     A large moldy-colored book leans out of Jeff's bag.
     Plucky: "Hey, what's that big book?"
     Jeff: "My Magic Book."
     Plucky: "Get real, there is no such thing as magic. It's just some
cheap tricks invented by a guy named Merlin."
     Then, a big book floated out of Jeff's bag, and went to Plucky. The
book stopped in his face and opened. Light gleamed as it opened.
With the book wide open, a little Merlin-like figure was standing in the
middle of the it. He waved his wand and pointed it at Plucky and a
jolt of lightning came through the wand and struck Plucky. Plucky's
face was black as charcoal. The book closed itself and floated back
to the bag, but Buster grabbed it and read the cover.
     Buster: "Merlin's book of magic."
     The book lifted from his hand and returned to Jeff's bag.
     Jeff: "Sorry Plucky, but..."
     He stopped when he saw a beautiful figure coming his way. She
had a gorgeous body, a lovely face, and a long soft beautiful tail. He
fell in love at first sight. His heart started pumping fast until it went to
over drive and exploded. His mouth dropped opened and his tongue
hanging and panted like a dog. The figure came and joined the group.
     Babs: "Hey Fifi, I'd like to meet Jeffery. Jeffery this is Fifi."
     Fifi: "Bonjour, monsieur Jeffery."
     Jeff: "It is an honor to meet a gorgeous lady such as you."
     Fifi giggles. But Hamton is not happy at all.
     Buster: "That's Hamton's girl friend."  He whispered in his ear.
     Jeff: "OOPS! Sorry Hamton, I didn't know."
     Hamton: "That's all right. I understand. If it was someone flirting
with her, I'll let be you."
     Jeff: "Thanks Hamton, I owe you."
     Suddenly the school bell rang. And every student dashed to their
class.
     Buster: "We better get to class before Vice Principal Sam catches
us in the hallway."
     Hamton: "Right!"
     Everybody dashed to their class and all was left in that hallway was
Jeff's book bag. Then some force lifted it from the floor and was
heading for Jeffery, who was making it float to him. He grabbed the
bag when it came to reach. He held the bag and winked at the
audience, then ran to the lab.

                                             Act  2

     It is a period before lunch time and the guys, Buster, Plucky, and
Hamton are walking down the hallway to the lab where Calamity and
Jeff were working. The trio passed by a class where a shadow of
Wile E. Coyote pulled on a rope and tons of beets fell on him.
     Buster: "Comedy 'Beets."
     They walked on and to the lab. Buster pushed the lab door open
very quietly, peeking his head through to see if any one was in there.
He kept inside and signaled to the others to be quiet. (The camera
moves slowly passing chemicals of different colors in tubes, flasks,
etc. Then, it pass a cage with Pinky and the Brain in it. Pinky is
holding up a sign that says 'Hi MOM!'. Finally, the camera stops at a
lab table where Jeffery and Calamity are working with some
chemicals that are on the table.) The trio tiptoed behind Jeff who was
stirring a flask of an orange-yellow liquid. He stopped to examined it,
put the stir stick down on the table and reached out for a test tube on
a tube holder.
     Jeff: "Hey Buster, Plucky, Hamton."
     Buster: "Eeh?! How did you we were here?"
     Jeff: "No offense Buster, when you came in I heard your big feet
tip toeing on the floor."
     Plucky and Hamton giggles at Buster.
     Jeff: "The squeaks of Plucky's webbed feet."
     Plucky as well as Buster is angry while the pig still giggles.
     Jeff: "And the smell of Hamton's breakfast, toast, eggs and garlic."
     Now, Hamton is angry and Buster and Plucky is laughing hearty.
     Plucky: "So, what are yer doing?"
     Jeff: "When the jet pack crashed through the wall, it wasn't its fault.
It was the fuel's."
     Buster, Hamton, Plucky: "Huh?"
     Jeff: "The fuel some how malfunctions the machine it enters in. So
we're trying to purify it."
     He pours the test tube of sky blue liquid into the flask. The color
ruses up to turn into a red colored liquid. He examines the flask and
puts it down on the table. Then reaches his hand for his notebook.
Opens it, then reaches his left hand for a feather pen. The kinds of
pens that were used in the dark ages. He starts writing with his left
hand until he sees Buster looking at him suspiciously. He lays the pen
down on the table and turns to him.
     Jeff: "Yes."
     Buster: "What's that?"
     Jeff: "My Enchanted Pen."
     Plucky: "But there is nothing written on the page."
     Hamton: "Yeah!"
     Buster: "Well I see things written in it."
     Plucky: "Oh yeah! Then you must have some special eyesight or
something."
     Jeff: "Why yes he does. The magic ink of the pen can be seen by
the owner (that's me)or by a special person. Which is you Buster."
     Buster: "Why?"
     Jeff: "It is destiny."
     The bell rings for lunch time,
     Gogo: "Cuckoo, Cuckoo. If you eat the cafeteria special, you must
be Cuckoo, Cuckoo."
     Hamton: "I don't know about you fellas, but my stomach tells me
that my destiny is for the cafeteria."
     Plucky: "Right! Lead the way, pot belly." He patted Hamton's belly
after he said 'pot belly'.
     Hamton gave an angry look and walked to the doors.
     Buster: "Coming Jeff?"
     Jeff: "Right behind ya. Come on Calamity, let's go." He closes his
book. Steps down from the stool. He turns anti-clockwise and swings
his left hand to reach for his bag on the other stool beside him. But
accidentally knocks over a round-bottom flask onto the floor.
Calamity walks towards the spill with a conical flask in his left hand.
     Jeff: "Calamity stop!!"
     Calamity turned his head while walking to see what was the matter.
He steps into the spill, slips and falls on his face. The flask is thrown
out of his hand and flies to Plucky.
     Buster: "Plucky, look out!"
     Plucky turns anti-clockwise, looks at the flasks, reached his arms
out and catches it.
     Plucky: "Got it."
     Jeff: "You shouldn't of done that"
     Plucky: "Why?"
     The liquid bubbles very vigorously every second and the color turns
to a hot red.
     Jeff: "Oh, you are going to find out, everybody duck!"
     Plucky: "Mother!" As he sees it ready to explode.
     A small and yet painful explosion is blown up in Plucky's face.
Everybody rises from the smoke.
     Buster: "What happened?"
     Jeff: "The formula is explosive when vibrated."
     Plucky: "Now you tell me!" His beak was on top of his black face
and fixed it before he said this.
     Buster: "C'mon let's go."
     In the cafeteria, everybody is eating and talking at the tables,
standing in line or going to their seats. Buster, Plucky, Hamton and
Jeff joins them at the table. Babs and the rest of the girls are sitting
behind them.
     Buster: "What did ya get?"
     Hamton looks in his bag and says:  "My lunch got squished."
     Jeff: "Hamton, may I see it, please." Hamton handed him the
brown lunch bag. "Was your lunch a egg sandwich?" He put his index
finger and middle finger together and zapped an egg sandwich in front
of him, "with pickles," pickles appeared in the sandwich, "with Mayo
and pepper?"
     Hamton: "Wha-why, yes."
     Jeff: "Well, I told you I'd owe you."
     Plucky: "Hey what about me?"
     Jeff: "I don't owe anything!" Plucky starts to get up but Buster
forced him back down with his hand.
     Buster: "O.K. Let's talk about something else. So Jeff, what else
does your 'enchanted pen' do?"
     Jeff: "The pen writes to me, and to other people who can see its
ink. You can call upon it, whenever you need it."
     Plucky: "Yea, yea, whatever. Now, lets talk about girls, since you
know how to sweet talk them."
     They looked at the table where the girls were sitting who giggling at
one of Babs jokes. Then turned around and looked at Jeff.
     Plucky: "So, tell us the basics, huh?" But Jeff shook his head. "Well
tell me this, how much can that of yours fuel cost? Hey, maybe we
can sell it worldwide. We'll be..."
     Jeff: "In jail. It would be illegal. Yes, the fuel costs a lot of money.
Maybe a million dollars per gallon."
     On the table at the side of them, Monty heard this, got up, and
walked out the cafeteria snickering to himself. "And the fuel is too
dangerous.  When the jet packs rocketed through the walls this
morning, the fuel, somehow malfunctioned the guidance system. Plus,
it is very explosive now.
     Plucky: "Yeah, but we can still sell it."
     Jeff: "Plucky, just zip it." He put his two fingers together and
moved them across his lips. Plucky's lips were zipped by the word 'it'
and tried to talked with his mouth like that.
     At the laboratory, through its window, Monty is asking Calamity
for the formula.
     Monty: "C'mon, fork over the formula." But Calamity shook his
head and folded his arms. "Well then, I guess I'll have to make your
partner give it to me." He made a high pitched whistle. Then a
shadowed monster walked up to Calamity with reaching arms and
went after him, while Monty laughs.
     After school, Babs and Fifi were outside by the door waiting for
Buster. He jogged to meet them, but stopped abruptly,
     Buster: "Where's Jeff?"
     Babs: "I don't know."
     Buster: "Maybe he's still at the lab." And they walked off to the
lab.
     They came to the lab and opened the door. They saw shelves on
the floor with the drawers opened, and paper scattered. Experiments
on the floor with broken glass. Jeff at the table with his head bent
down. Buster and the rest walk up to him.
     Buster: "What happened?"
     Jeff: "Montana Max kidnapped Calamity." He handed Buster the
ransom note. He read it with the girls looking over his shoulder.
     Buster: "Now Monty has gone too far!"
     Jeff: "No. Now, it's personal."

                                             Act  3

     As we see the lab ransacked, Jeff is standing a computer on a
table with a disk next to the mouse. Babs and Fifi study the ransom
note and Buster tries to help Jeff in anyway he can.
     Buster: "Before we do anything hasty, we need a plan."
     Jeff looks at the table and sees the disk. He takes it up and looks at
it. A half-smile appears on the right side of his face.
     Jeff: "Well, since Monty wants the formula so badly. I say let's give
it to him."
     Buster, Babs, Fifi: "Huh?"
     Jeff: "In a different kind of way. Come here and I'll tell ya."
     They huddled and Jeff told them the plan.
     Babs: "Oh! That's horrible, it terrifying, it despicable. I like it, I like
it.
     They broke up the huddle and Jeff said,
      Jeff: "So, are you with me?"
     Buster, Babs, Fifi: "Yeah!"
     Jeff: "Then, let's rock n' roll, let's rock it sooooo!"
     At Max's mansion, Monty is a several meters away from the gate
playing his computer. Behind him a tall slender object is covered with
a white covering. Our heroes now are running down the path to
Monty's mansion. They stop at the side of the gate and gather
together to make their plan into action.
     Jeff: "Now you all know what to do, right?"
     Buster, Babs, Fifi: "Right!"
     Jeff: "So, let's do it."
     Buster: "What a minute. I wanna talk to Babs in private for a
moment." Jeff nods and Buster pulls Babs a few feet from where they
were standing.
     Babs: "What's the matter?"
     Buster:  "Did you ever noticed anything wrong about him"
     Babs: "Like what? I find him quite nice."
     Buster: "But besides that. Did you ever noticed the way he looked
when he was depressed or when he came up with the plan? There
was hardly an expression. As if he was hiding it."
     Babs: "But, why?"
     Buster: "I don't know, but I swear I'm gonna find out." They break
up and walk to Jeff and Fifi. They step through the gates and Jeff
called to Monty;
     Jeff: "Hey Monty."
     Monty: "Yeah what do ya"oh it's you. Did ya bring the formula?"
     Jeff: "It's in this disk." He held the disk in the air. "So, where's
Calamity?"
     Monty walks to the tall covered object and pulls the covering,
"Right here." Calamity was tied to a rocket! The rocket had several
booster jets held under a white narrow tube with a red top. They
walked up to the desk, then Monty took out a small black remote
with a red button in the middle.
     Monty: "Not so fast! First, let me the disk." He ran to Jeff,
grabbed the disk from his hand and sat in the chair and installed the
disk into the computer and put the remote at the side. Jeff stood
behind him, Buster on the right, Fifi on the left and Babs was stooping
by Jeff's feet. She signaled to him and he join her. He took out his
enchanted pen from behind his cap and drew a gas can and wrote
'secret formula' on it. Babs dashed to the rocket with a trail of fire
behind her. At the rocket, she jumped and open the hub cap. She
stood in the air and poured the formula into it. She dropped to the
ground after that and landed like a ballerina. At the computer,
     Monty: "Hey, this isn't the formula! This is just a dumb game!"
     Fifi: "What iz ze mattair? Don't you like gamez?"
     Monty: "Then you can play with Calamity, on the moon!" He
grabbed the remote to press the button.
     Jeff: "Now Fifi!" Monty turned around only to see Fifi pouncing
him. A cloud of dust covering them. Only hearing shouts of agony
from Monty. Then, she took him up into the air and slammed him onto
the ground. She wrapped him with her tail and squeezed him for a
second then let him get some air.
     Fifi: "Do not mess with ze black belt champion of judo in all of
France."
     Monty: "Let me go you."
     Fifi: "No, no, no. You stay quiet."
     Jeff: "Now Monty, you could have asked me for the formula. But
since you kidnapped Calamity, you leave me no choice. Though the
fuel is still experimental. Think of it,(dream sequence) factories being
closed because engines malfunctioning and over heating. Cars
stopping in the middle of the road when the tank is full! You'd be in
ruins, people wanting their money back, suing  you. People waiting in
line to spank you (ending dream sequence)."
     Buster: "Eeeh?"
     Jeff: "Well, a man can dream, can't he?"
     Monty: "You will never get away with this!" He broke free from
Fifi's grip. He held the remote into the air to show that nobody moves
or he will press the button.
     Jeff took off the flap of his cap and threw it like a boomerang.
Monty saw it and ducked. The boomerang turned, and went back to
Monty. It lashed the remote out his hand, and it flew into the air.
     Babs: "Get it!"
     Now, something is tunneling underground in the direction of the
remote. When it was almost under the remote, something shot out like
a canon. It was Buster. He caught it and landed on his two feet.
     Jeff: "Time for you to take a ride." His two hands, each pointing at
Calamity and Monty. The index and the middle fingers were pointing
at them. "Time was now, time to be. Switch the positions of Calamity
and Monty."
     Lightning shot out of his fingers, and struck Calamity and Monty,
then they disappeared. Purple smoke formed Calamity where Monty
was and Monty where Calamity was. Calamity checked himself and
Buster, Babs, and Fifi went to him to see if he was all right.
     Jeff: "To show that the fuel is experimental you're going to ride this
rocket since it has it. If I am wrong then you'll go to the moon. If I am
right, then you will be in place that you don't want to go. Buster will
you have the honors?"
     Buster: "By all means. This is an honor to receive the shloscar, and
I like to-"
     Jeff: "Buster! The other one!"
     Buster: "OOPS! He, he. Sorry about that." Then he pressed the
button.
     The rocket rose into the air and went to a specific direction.
     Babs: "Where is he going, Jeff?"
     Jeff: "To the most feared place in all Acme Acres. The house of
Elmyra!"
     At Elmyra's house, bursts free from the ropes. Then, Elmyra ran
from the house, grabs Monty and squeezes him.
     Monty: "When get away from freak, I'll get even, and the whole
school will be at my side. He, he, umrph!"
     Back at the mansion, Calamity jogs off and waves to the group.
They wave back and split in two groups: Buster and Babs to the
forest, and Jeff and Fifi to near the city. Buster watches Jeff to see if
he will make a move on Fifi.
     Babs: "What's the matter Buster?"
     Buster: "I'm just keeping an eye on Jeff to see if he will make a
move on Fifi."
     Babs: "Buster! I am ashamed for you! Not trusting your own
friend."
     Buster: "Yeah, maybe your right."
     Jeff: "That was a great job you did there, Fifi."
     Fifi: "Merci, Jeff. By ze way, how did you do zat thing with your
hat."
     Jeff: "That's how my cap works. Sooner or later you shall see all of
what this cap can do. Now it's my turn, I was just wondering, what
do see in Hamton."
     Fifi: "Well..."
     Jeff: "Understand, I am not putting any pressure on you. If you
don't want to answer, it's O.K. with me."
     Fifi: "No, no. It's just that nobody has ever asked me this. Well,
Hamton makes me smile, and that he reminds me of a fat cute teddy
bear. Jeff?"
     Jeff: "Yes."
     Fifi: "Usually, anybody who walks with moi. Don't stay with moi
no longer zan one minute. And yet you are still here for seven minutes.
Does not my odor offend you?"
     Jeff: "No Fifi, it doesn't. But here is one thing that might help you
with your personality. You can control your odor with your mind."
     Fifi: "I do not understand."
     Jeff: "O.K. say it's your tail. You can control tail, right?"
     Fifi: "Oui."
     Jeff: "Then you can control your odor. It does not have a mind of
its own, but you do. Try it and you shall see the results."
     Fifi: "Zank you, Jeff. I shall do it. I must go now there is my home.
Au revoir, Jeff."
     Jeff waved goodbye to Fifi. Then walked on to his home. "You can
come out of hiding, Buster."
     Buster: "How did you know that I was following you."
     Jeff: "Remember at the lab I heard your feet. I heard the same
heaviness of your feet. You see Buster, I don't fool around with my
senses, and neither should you."
     As he was walking off, Buster grabbed him by the shoulder.
     Buster: "I didn't follow you for this. I just want to make sure that
you don't move Fifi."
     Jeff: "Oh, ye of little faith. You know that I am not like that kind. I
would never go out with a girl behind someone's back. But, they will.
I shall not be the cause of it but I will prevent it. That, I, promise!"
     Buster: "All right, I believe you."
     Jeff: "Buster, I want you to do something for me. Want ever
happens and what ever I do or say, tell me that you will be there for
me."
     Buster: "Yes, I will."
     Jeff: "Now," he pulled out his pen from behind his hat. "when you
need questions or other things to be answered. Just whistle, and it will
come to you."
     Buster: "Got it."
     Then Jeff disappeared. Buster scratched his head, and shrugged
his shoulders. Then burrowed his way home.
     The next day at Acme Loo, Fifi walks through the corridors with
no odor trailing behind her. A brown cat wearing a black jacket walks
up to her.
     Cat: "Hey, baby. How about you being my girl?"
     Fifi: "No zank you." She pulls Hamton into the screen as she says,
"This is my little French mon-ami, oui?"
     Hamton: "Right Fifi. So beat it buster!" He took out a white box
from behind him. It opened at front where the cat was, and boxing
glove punched him out. He lay on the ground with floating stars above
him, and they all fell on his head.
     Hamton and Fifi walking close together, and passed Buster and
Jeff.
     Buster: "Well, Jeff. Looks like a job well done."
     Jeff: "Yes indeed, Buster. Tell the gang for me, that whenever they
are in trouble and need some help or advice. I'll be there for them,
once they will do the same for me."
     Buster watched walk off, and studying what he meant by ' in
trouble'. Then, he got an idea. He whistled with two fingers in his
mouth. The Enchanted Pen floated quickly to him and awaited for his
request.
     Buster: "Will Jeff be there for us when we are in need?"
     The pen wrote in air: Yes, he will.
     Buster: "But what can we do to help him?"
     The pen wrote in air: You shall see in the future.
     Buster: "Final question, how about giving me the answers for the
mid-term?"
     The pen wrote in air: No Way !
     Buster smiled and walked off to his class, "Jeff has changed, and
hides more secrets than anyone I know." He walks off silently into his
class, not noticing that a shadowy figure was listening to him in the
vents.
     Shadowy figure: "Ahhh. Finally you are starting on the foot ahead
of your future. I may not have mystic powers like Shirley, but I know
by faith. Buster will be there for me at my coming."
     Then the Vent cover gave way, and Jeff fell down hard on the
floor. He got up dusting himself and said, "Oh well, nobody is perfect.
Not even me." He too, walks off to his class silently.
                                            The  End?
                                           Dream On!