LEGAL NOTES:  Characters contained within this story are
copyright of Warner Brothers and Amblin Entertainment.  This
story in no way is a challenge to those copyrights or an attempt to
cash in on those characters.  Additional note: Two characters
contained within are copyright Jeremy J. Jurrens 1996, see end legal
note for additional details.

AUTHORS NOTE: This story was started in March 1996, and
finished July 1996, sorry about the long delay on those who read
my stories.  This story may be distributed freely, you can alter it as
long as I don't find out.(please don't)  It is my third Fan-fiction
work, and is a sequel to my story, "Transfer Student" I recommend
you read that story first before this one.  It helps to fill in the
plotlines that develop in this story.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and
send all questions and comments to the address below.

AUTHORS E-MAIL ADDRESS:  JJURRENS@ILCC.CC.IA.
 
Le Wedding De Fifi
by
Jeremy J. Jurrens

	She was finally being married, it was the happiest moment
of her life as she walked down the aisle.  Fifi La Fume, was looking
gorgeous in her wedding gown, her train was long and lavished with
embroidery.  Babs was carrying it behind her, dressed in a
bridesmaid outfit as well as a gasmask, tears were forming at the
corners of Fifi's eyes.
	After all the years of dreaming, all the years of longing, and
all the years of chasing after boys, she was to finally marry one. 
The tears flowed freely over her cheeks, her mother was staring at
her in surprise, Fifi smiled back mouthing, "I am so happy!"  Her
mother smiled back as well, when Fifi passed, her mother
whispered, "Go easy on him, mon daughter." Fifi only brightened
her smile.
	At the alter, stood Buster, the best man, dressed in the
regular penguin outfit, next to him was Plucky and Hamton.  Oh
Hamton!  It was so hard on him that she was being married, a
meeting before the wedding with him had proven that to her.  They
had at one time shared special moments and the pig seemed unable
to get over it, in fact, he looked almost in tears as well, but tears of
sorrow they were not tears of joy like hers.
	"No!" she thought to herself sternly shaking her head as well
as she approached the alter.  Hamton had been sweet and kind, but
for some reason it hadn't worked out between the two and her life
had gone on without him.  She looked straight ahead past the pig,
focusing on the great moment that lay before her.
	She walked up the steps, Babs took her place next to Shirley
and Sweetie.  Fifi arrived next to her man, and what a man!
	Alex Redolence, the owner of all Acme Acres and the palace
she was being married in this very moment.  He was gorgeous, she
put her arm around his, feeling the huge muscles that pulsed
beneath that fur.  She got a little dizzy, knowing soon they would be
joined forever in what she called, "Ze unbridled passion."
	The preacher slowly gave the vows, each word spilling forth
for what seemed to Fifi to be an eternity of impatientence and high
estrogen levels, she licked her lips in anticipation of the final sealing
kiss.
	Alex, "Fifi?" he stares at her with much concern in his eyes,
"Fifi, do you our not?"
	She had been so enwrapped in her dreaming, she hadn't
heard a word the preacher had said.  She stumbles over words, but
the strong and convincing voice of Alex rings out in her head.
	Alex, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded
husband Fifi?  Please say yes, I didn't wait all this time to be left in
the cold mon amore."
	Fifi, "Oui!  Of course moi does!" she yells so loudly the
audience jumps.
	Preacher, "Then I pronounce you two, skunk and skunkette. 
You may kiss the bride."
	She had waited for this since he first asked her to marry him,
her mouth watered anxiously.  She lost control of her body,
sweating, heart beating, fumes rising causing those around to flee. 
She didn't care, all that mattered was she would be with Alex
forever
	She turned to kiss her new husband, he would be there, her
fumes never affected him like her other would-be lovers.  She
closed her eyes and felt the rough and sharp lips of Alex!
	Snapping her eyes open and seeing before her not Alex,
but.....
	Fifi, "Vous!  Et ez impossible, vous are dead!"
	"Don't believe everything vous hears, but as promised by
vous family and monsieur's, vous are now mois!" he grabs her
tightly.  She struggles in his ungodly grip, he is disgusting, if ugliness
and horror could have a body, it would be his.
	He just laughs at her efforts, kissing her neck in perverted
passion, sending waves of nausea through her body.  Fifi struggles
to no avail and finally screams and screams and screams.
	And wakes up screaming in her pink cadillac sitting up in
terror, breathing hard and sweating profusely.  After a few moments
of recentering herself, she calms down slightly and begins to talk in
order to calm down.
	Fifi, "Et was only ze dream.  How could zat possibly
happen?"  she laughs a little, "Monsieur has been dead for seven
years." she relaxes slightly, catching a glance of her clock that reads,
"3:00a.m."
	Trying her best to get back to sleep, it is to no avail, the
disturbing dream still clearly in her mind.  She only accomplishes to
toss and turn in her bed like a worm on a hot griddle.
	We zoom to the south across the land from the City of
Acme Acres, to the Wastelands, a desolate place where nothing
seems to want to grow in.  Nothing that is but villainy and evil.
	Looking directly at it reveals nothing, it looks just like the
gray sand that covers the entire Wastelands.   Though in fact, it is an
entrance, one that only two people in all of Acme Acres if not the
whole world know about.  One is Alex, the owner of Acme Acres,
the other is the very owner of this hole in the ground.
	Camry Curvaceous set up quarters in this den after
destroying her old one in an attempt to be rid of Buster and Babs. 
Its main chamber is buried deep in the Earth, almost a hundred feet
down.
	The central chamber is much more grander then her old den,
in size as well as tools housed within it.  Filled to the brim with
technology used to aid her in her goals, the electrician went mad
wiring it all.
	On a far wall hangs pictures of Fifi, Babs, and Shirley.  A
loud bang followed by a, "Thunk" of a dart embedding itself
between Fifi's eyes rings out in the chamber.
	Camry, "So miss La Fume, you have buried a deep dark
secret in the shadows of your past." she sits in a metal chair that
looks like a throne at the center of the chamber.  In one hand she
holds the dart gun that was just fired, the other holds a computer
printout whose title reads, "Subject:  Fifi La Fume" and goes on to
describe her temperament, appearance and age.
	The bottom of the paper has been highlighted, its title,
"Historical Background" a description of Fifi's life, the papers are
put down as Camry stands up.
	Camry, "So, your parents believed in the old way Miss La
Fume." she is talking to Fifi's picture, "Good!  With this plan I can
destroy you easily and get rid of my competition for a powerful
heart.  Also, perhaps with you destroyed the task of killing off Babs
and Shirley will not be so difficult as I had originally calculated."
	She picks up the gun and buries a few more darts into all
three pictures, laughing wickedly the whole time.  When the gun is
finally empty, she tosses it into a bin marked, "Scrap" and tears the
darts and pictures down, tossing them in as well.  The sounds of
paper and metal being ripped to pieces are heard from the bin.  She
pauses for a moment with Fifi's picture and then proceeds to shred it
by hand before tossing it in, grinning with her perfect pearl teeth the
whole time.
	Moving back to her chair, she picks up a sign marked,
"Pathos" and then heads to one of the many tunnel entrances in the
den.  The routes of these tunnels make less sense then a plate full of
spaghetti, octopusing out in many routes underneath Acme Acres.  
	She hops into one of the many jet sleds that are in the
cavern, leaving quickly, but not as quickly as a group that had left
only seconds ago.
	An ocean away Alex, Buster, Hamton and Plucky have just
arrived in the French Alps moments ago, Plucky is the reason they
have arrived at this destination.
	Alex, finally fed up with Plucky bragging how good of a
snowboarder he is, snapped his fingers back in Acme Acres.  In less
then a eyeblink the group found itself in the Alps, each holding a
snowboard in their hands.
	Alex walks up to Plucky, "Prove it, Duck!" he says in a stern
voice adding a finger poke to the middle of Plucky's chest for
emphasis.
	"Sure!" he replies feebly back, the old conscience devil and
angel appear floating on his shoulders.
	Devil, "Come-on, snowboarding is like falling off a log.  Just
think, you can brag to Shirley you snowboarded down the French
Alps!"
	Plucky looks at the angel for advice, he is just floating above
Plucky's other shoulder looking at an issue of, "Play Harold" he
folds out a centerfold whistling, finally looks at Plucky, "What!? 
You never listen to me anyway!"
	Plucky, having no comprehension on how to snowboard, sits
down on the board cross-legged.
	Buster, "Uh, Plucky?  Don't you think you need to stand to
snowboard?"
	Plucky, "What!  And do it the loser way, us pros know how
to catch the perfect wave on a snowboard, by sitting." and with that,
he starts to crawl stroke moving the board to the peak of the hill.
	Soon, Plucky disappears down hill and out of sight, screams
of, "Whaaaaaaaha! Ha!  Ha!  Why am I doing this?!" are heard.
	Alex, "Because your an egotistical idiot!" he yells, then
shakes his head and soon pushes off after the green duck, following
the same route with less screaming.
	Hamton, "I wish he would have given me skis.  I'm lousy on
a snowboard." with that, the board glows metallic and twists its form
into a pair of skis already prewaxed, "Of course, magic boards."
	Down the slope, Plucky is looking like half a comet going
downhill.  Snow is being flung ahead of Plucky in a large sphere,
having put his arms out in a futile attempt to stop.
	Alex, soon catches up with the green duck, who is now
spinning out of control.  Multicolored lightning swirls around
Plucky, lifting him and stopping his spinning.
	Alex is the source of the lightning, he slides up next to the
duck, "Plucky, first lesson of snowboarding:  Stand up!" Plucky
pulls himself together and stands on the now hover-board.
	Alex, "Now you see those footholds on the board?  Your
feet belong in them." Plucky follows the instructors directions,
getting his feet in and having a look that says, "Hey, I could get the
hang of this!"
	Alex, "That's it, brace your legs," he sets Plucky down, "use
your hips for turning, and whatever you do.  Don't hit that big rock
coming up in front of you!" he pulls away from the green duck.
	A solid granite rock about the size of a locomotive looms
ahead of Plucky.  The duck has no time to react and only whispers,
"Mommy!"
	Needless to say, when a toon duck meets an immovable
object, the immovable object usually gets very annoyed.
	Plucky wakes up to find himself being squeezed into a
bucket by Hamton.  Hamton pours out the green solution,
solidifying him.
	Alex, "So, you still think your an expert, Plucky?"
	Plucky, "Sure I am, it's just ah, ah, bad day is all.  And, and,
the snows all wrong in France." adding a swift kick to the powdered
turf.
	Alex, "Sure, whatever Plu....." his eyes snap onto something
in the distance.  The three look at the skunk, whose head and neck
are rigid.
	Buster, "Alex, are you OK?" he waves his hand in front of
Alex to get a reaction, but receives none.
	In Alex vision, a 3-D elevation map of the Alps spins in his
view, a globe showing his location on Earth is in the upper right
corner of the view.
	Arrows pointing at a location on the elevation and in the
main view pointing in the distance have the words, "Historical
Marker Detected.  Origin: Unknown  Knowledge Value: 5" and
other such statistics have appeared next to the arrows..
	Snapping back to the staring and worrying eyes he says,
"You guys want to learn some French history?" he looks back at the
display that reads, "Range:  5 miles plus or minus 0.05 miles"
	Hamton pushes the display off the screen, "Five miles!"
points to his watch, "School is going to start in two minutes Alex!"
	Alex, "OK, OK, party-pooper." he moves his tail in a circle
behind him.  A porthole opens a la Deep Space Nine wormhole
style, behind with the tail's movements.  Through the porthole they
see the steps of the Big A.L.
	Alex, "Just step through the looking glass and you'll find
yourself home Alice." he goes to shove off, seduced by his own
burning curiosity.  Buster grabs the end of his long tail to stop him,
"Wait a minute, I want to...."
	Quicker then the eye, Alex wraps his tail around Buster's
waist, picking up the blue rabbit he pulls him, upside-down, eye to
eye with him.  Buster looks like a worm on a hook three feet above
the snow covered ground.
	Alex, "Yes?"
	Buster, disorientated from his position, "Ahhh, I just wanted
to know if your ever going to throw a party at your palace?"
	Alex, sets him down, a look of seriousness and concern
crosses his face, after a brief pause he addresses them.
	Alex, "You are not yet ready for my palace." and with that,
he snowboards off, leaving the group to contemplate this, with an
open porthole that beacons them onward.
	Meanwhile, back in Acme Acres, the Amazing Three make
their way to morning classes.  Babs is trying to get her friends to
come to another slumber party.  One hopefully very, very, far away
from Buster and his pals.
	Shirley, "Like how did they find out we were like throwing
one the first time?"
	Babs, 'I've never been able to figure that one out Shirl." Fifi
grins to herself.
	Ahead at the steps to Acme Loo, lightning crackles in a ball,
soon the other end of the porthole opens.  Looking through the
three see only snow covered mountains, having no idea where it
leads to.
	Fifi's eyes light up, in hopes that Alex is visiting the Loo, but
dim when only Buster, Plucky and Hamton walk through.  The
porthole soon closes with a snap after they step out of it.
	Buster, "We made it!"
	Plucky, "I can't see!  I can't see!"
	Hamton, "What's wrong?" 
	Plucky grins at Hamton, then opens his eyes, "I got my eyes
closed."
	Shirley, "Like get real Plucky, that was done by the Three
Stooges or some junk."
	Babs, "Hey, where were you guys at?"
	Plucky, puffs up trying to look like a macho man, "Well, I
was just showing  how good of a snowboarder I was." walks around
swaying back and forth with his arms out.  Trying to look like a
huge body-builder but failing completely.
	Buster, "Yeah right!  I think all you showed Alex is how
much of a duck can get splattered over the French Alps."
	Fifi twangs and jumps on Buster, looking him directly in the
eyes, "Vous were in ze French Alps!" her eyes are wide as she pulls
Buster face to face by his shirt.
	Fifi, "Did monsieur Alex mention moi?" she flutters her
eyes, ideas of Alex becoming obsessed with her and the country she
came from tumbling in her head.  Babs is very annoyed at the
position she has Buster in at this moment.
	Buster, has no time to answer the skunkette, the Dodo clock
signals the beginning of classes.  He uses its distraction to crawl out
from underneath her, and bolt up the stairs with his friends.
	Fifi realizes her informer has got away, "Le sigh, I will catch
zim later." she prances up the steps, turns to face the camera, "I
know vous will soon come to moi monsieur Alex." touches her lips
remembering.
	Fifi, "Moi will wait for vous Alex." she turns and climbs the
remaining steps, "But hurry up, will vous!"
	Later, in Joke Chemistry class, test today over the chemical,
molecular, and genetic composition of knock-knock, why the
chicken, and the man walks in the bar jokes.  Our in other words,
why a joke makes you laugh.  Marvin the Martin stands with his
arms behind him, he addresses his pupils.
	Marvin, "Now, do any of you Earthlings have questions
before we begin the test?"
	Buster waves his hand madly in the air, Marvin rolls his eyes
and looks annoyed by this.
	Marvin, "Yes, what is it overconfident Earth creature?"
	Buster puts his hand down, "How did we get such a large
national debt?"
	The class giggles and laughs, Marvin only clenches his fists
tightly at this question.
	Marvin, "Do any of you have serious problems with taking
this test?"
	Plucky, "I do, Teach," pulls one webbed foot from
underneath his desk, "I have this really bad looking rash on my foot. 
Do you have some kind of ointment to clear it up with?"
	Marvin makes two moves; pulls out a Acme Desinigrator
pistol, and then he fires it, Plucky's bill is the only thing left and
drops down onto his seat.
	Marvin, "Now, does any other overconfident Earthling have
something to say?" he waves the gun at the class, looking for some
sucker.  Only stifled giggling is heard in the classroom, Marvin puts
the gun away, realizing he won't get much further with this bunch.
	Passing the test to Plucky's row first, question number one
reads:  Name, in order of concentration, the eight prime joke
elements used in the joke, "A rabbi, a preacher, and a hobo walk
into a bar" joke.
	Question number two isn't any better:  OK, smartly, name
the compounds those eight elements make up!
	Plucky passes out, having no idea what the first prime joke
element is.  Not a good sign for the rest of the class, who lose their
silliness quickly after the first glance of the test.
	The class sets to work though, and Marvin sets to work at
the front desk on a new propulsion device for his flying saucer.  The
test takes a minimal of four hours, and no one is to leave until after
that time.
	The time passes though, Plucky banging himself on the head
with a mallet, trying to force some answers out of his skull.  Buster
and Babs spend more time passing notes via paper airplanes then
working on the test.  Hamton, having studied for it, takes off
immediately like a mad scholar.  Shirley, trying to connect with one
of her past lives for help, accidentally channels in part of the
internet, the one with all the video game tips.
	Answers like, "Type pumpkinhead for all weapons" and,
"Take a left at the lava pool and use the key of knowledge for
entrance" appear on her test.
	Dizzy, is eating the test and his desk again, Marvin pays no
attention, having built a device the size of a station wagon at the
front of the class.
	Two and a half hours into it, those who were actually trying
to get a good grade are miserable.
	Hamton, looks at the camera, the pig has an appearance of
having a wild night with too many spirits.  Bags the size of golf balls
hang below his eyes, as well as his cloths being in a jumble and
dirty.
	Hamton, "I was a man once!" shaking badly.
	Fifi, on the other hand, thought it was a test on the
chemistry of Toon love.  She writes down, kissing, strong holding,
and the chasing paradox: "No matter how fast the reluctant lover
flees, the pursuer will always be three clicks behind."
	Eventually though, her mind wanders into the land of day-
dreams, she is once again at her wedding walking down the aisle
with Shirley now carrying the train.  She arrives again beside Alex,
lets out a sigh there and in reality, but won't close her eye's at the
kiss.
	It doesn't matter though, Alex's face morphs into Elmyra's
and says.
	Elmyra, "Are you all right my stinky kitty witty?  I know, a
little huggy wuggy will cure you right up!"
	Fifi struggles against Elmyra's arms of death and snaps back
into reality.  Upon breaking free, she notices something very odd. 
The entire class is looking at her very funny, she blushes a deep red,
realizing she had drifted off and was starring at Clamity the whole
time.
	Calamity, being well seasoned about Fifi, had immediately
went up to Marvin, complaining he couldn't finish the test with the
threat of being gassed over him.
	Marvin, "Are you all right Miss La Fume?"
	Fifi, "Oui, moi just, how do you say, drifted off a bit. 
Madame will be fine now."
	Plucky, "That is until she gets another urge!"  Shirley fries
the green duck immediately after the last word is spoken.
	Fifi buries herself into the test, after spraying Elmyra to get
her away.  Elmyra runs out of the room for a quick tomato bath. 
She stops writing after a bit, still dreaming about the wedding.
	The intercom crackles and screeches to life, Bugs is on the
com.
	Bugs, 'Ahh, would Miss La Fume please report to my office. 
Dere is some people here to see you."
	The intercom snaps off, the class is once again looking at
Fifi, this time with surprise though.  Fifi looks as surprised as them,
having no idea why she would be called to the office.  Marvin walks
up and takes her test.
	Marvin, "You may finish the test tomorrow if you are
detained for too long."
	Fifi gets up from her desk and makes her way to the door.
	Plucky, "You mean to tell me she gets out of the test
because someone wants her in the office?"
	Plucky, pulls out a cell-phone, dials a number and is waiting. 
After a pickup he pulls off a perfect impression of his mother's
voice.
	Plucky, "Yes, Acme Loo?  Could you please call my son to
the office so I can pick him up for his doctor's appointment?"
	Granny pops out of the phone's receiver.
	Granny, "You naughty little boy!  Take that!" pulls her
umbrella through and swings at the duck, "And that!" swings again.
	Plucky, runs around the room from the possessed cell-phone
that is still swinging at him all the way.  He jumps out the window in
a desperate attempt at escape, Granny knows though that while in
this position, between phone lines, she can't be hurt.  The phone
jumps out the window and the sight of a green duck being chased
by an insane umbrella is seen outside.
	Later, at the principal's door, Fifi stands outside, a little
nervous by the way she chews on her fingernails.
	Fifi, "Who could et be?  Moi has been ze perfect zittle
student, except for zhat incident with zhat boy and ze milk
dispenser.  They should have forgotten about zhat by now.  Maybe
et is.....mois secret admirer!" she brightens and swings open the
door, knocking out Porky in the process.
	Inside is not her secret admirer but skunks, three of them,
two appear to be adults by their size, the remaining one is about the
size and looks the same age as Fifi.  The two adults are a clash of
color, one is black and white with two stripes down the back, the
other, is lavender and has the same stripe as Fifi.
	The one the size of Fifi is black and white with the same
stripes as the larger black and white skunk, for a brief pause the four
stare at each other.  A silence passes, but is broken by the voice of
Fifi.
	Fifi, "Mere!  Pere!" she rushes the two older skunks,
embracing them in a very tight grip that the two return to her.
	To those of you that do not know French, "Mere" stands for
mother and, "Pere" for father.
	The embrace between the three lasts a long time, having not
seen each other for years.  After the embrace, Fifi looks with a little
coldness at the younger female skunk.
	Fifi, "Bonjour Mimi" with a voice that sounds more cruel
then her usual one.
	Mimi, "Bonjour mon soer le souillon!"
	The two would have lunged at each other right then, but
Fifi's mother Nadeline jumps between the two.
	Nadeline, "Stop et!" holding both at bay and looking as if
she could back up her command, "Mimi!  Nous did not come to
America to antagonize vous sister"
	Mimi, "Oui, why not tell vous fille why nous are here?"
	Nadeline's face darkens, then she begins to cry into Fifi's
arms, her husband, Andre goes to comfort her as well.
	Fifi, "What ez wrong mere?"
	Nadeline, "Ets....(Sob!)  Et ezzz......(Sob!)" she breaks
down into Andre's arms.
	Voice, "Et ez vous destiny catching up with her!"
	At the doorway, stands another skunk, a male around the
age of twenty or so, he is black and white with one stripe down the
tail and has a look of foreboding to him.  He stands there, looking
only at Fifi with his arms crossed, his stance is that of a army
officer.  Wanting full command and obedience from it seems Fifi.
	Andre, "Et ez vous fiance Fifi.  Returned from ze dead!"
	A, "Thunk!" is heard, that of Fifi hitting the floor from
fainting at this, her family rushes to attend to her as does the rest of
the office personal that is there.  The only person who does not
seem concerned with her well being, is the skunk that stands in the
doorway.
	Later that day, in the front lawn of Acme Loo, Buster, Babs,
Shirley, and Plucky meet.  Sweetie flies by with Furrball in hot
pursuit.  The kitty is soon flattened by an anvil dropped by the pink
bird.
	Babs, "Was that really necessary?" looking at camera.
	Plucky, "What are you complaining about?  You hardly ever
get the senseless violence done to you pink ears."
	Shirley, "Like has anyone seen Fifi?"
	Buster, "No, not since she was called to the office."
	Right on cue, Fifi appears in the doorway, the three in her
family are behind her.
	Plucky, "Now that was a lame scene intro.  Who wrote this
slop anyway?" he shakes his fists to the sky, demanding an answer
from the writers.
	Babs, "Be nice."
	Fifi looks terrible, the fur below her eyes is soaked in tears. 
Her friends first approach not realizing this, curious to who these
other three skunks are.  As they get closer they realize something is
deathly wrong with Fifi.
	Babs, "Fifi, what's wrong?"
	Shirley, "Yeah, like you look like you just found out one of
your past lives was Jack the Ripper or some junk."
	Fifi turns to her friends, sniffles a little air through her nose,
"Et ez nothing. (Sniff!) I just want to be....." she takes in a deep
breath, "Alone!" starts bawling hysterically.
	Fifi, "Le sob!  Sob!  Le really big sob!" her friends try and
comfort her, but she shakes them off.  Running down the path they
almost take off after her, but are stopped by the three skunks at the
door.
	Andre, "Let her go, she needs ze time to herself."
	Mimi gets one look at Buster, chuckles a little and says,
"What's with ze no pants style Bunny?" she laughs harder, "Trying
to show ze world just how miniature zings can get?" grins deeply.
	Buster, blushes a very deep red, Plucky immediately
counters with self-preservation, ducking behind Shirley in order not
to attract attention to his limited apparel.
	Babs, "Hey!  Who do you think you are!"
	Mimi, "Mois a lot more zen ze bimbo for zhat blue bunny,
traitor!"
	Nadeline, "Mimi!  Stop et!  Nous did not come to ze
America for one of vous private zittle wars."
	Mimi, "Wherever zhere are ze male oppressors of women! 
Wherever zhere ez injustice dished out to ze fair sex!  Wherever ze
figurely challenged zhat cannot get ze dates!  Moi will always start
ze war.  Ze very fact ze sexist pig," points a sharp finger at Buster,
"ez allowed to run around with ze shabby clothing gives moi enough
info into what ez going..."
	Andre, "Enough Mimi!  If zhat ez ze way vous will be, zhen
leave us!" and with that, Mimi walks off, tail held high.
	Babs, "Thank you Susan B. Anthony."
	Nadeline, "Please forgive mon soer, she zhinks ze whole
world ez ze sexist male dominated one."
	Plucky, "It isn't?" Shirley jabs him in the ribs.
	Shirley, "Like who are you?"
	The two look at each other a moment, Andre is the one who
breaks the silence  with his voice.
	Andre, "Zhis, ez mois wife Nadeline, and moi am Andre La
Fume, Fifi's pere."
	Babs, "Her parents!  So it's true, Fifi left France under less
then ideal conditions, and your here now to bring her back home. 
No wonder she's depressed."
	Andre and Nadeline, "WHAT!"
	Babs, "You mean, that's not why she's depressed?"
	Nadeline, "Non, non, zat reason ez le complicated one."
	Andre, "Oui, one zhat require ze tres special touch to
explain."
	The camera view begins to ripple like waves on a pond,
becoming fuzzy and distorted, the view fades into almost
nothingness.
	Plucky, "Hey!  What's going on?"
	Shirley, "It's like a flash-back, this reminds me of one of my
past lives.  I was like, an amoebae or some junk."
	Nadeline and Andre, "Would vous be quiet so nous can get
zis flash-back started?"
	The scene opens with the playing of the, "Sound of Music"
theme song.  The great valleys and fields of France are in the view.
	Andre, "Et was almost ze nineteen years ago in mois home
country of France.  Moi had owned a petite vineyard for nearly ze
five years now and had just been ze marriage to mois wife
Nadeline."
	The view swings to one of the many rows of grape-vines
strung up on wires five feet above the ground.  Jean Luc Picard
from the episode, "All Good Things" is in his peasant outfit, tending
to the vines.
	Andre, "Oh for ze Pete's sake," shoves the Enterprise
captain out of the flash-back, "et wasn't even zhat good of ze final
episode!"
	Nadeline, "Anyway, nous had zust been married, (Sigh)
together, and moi was tres quickly to be visited by ze stork."
	Andre, "But ze trouble was, how do you say, brewing."
clouds darken the scene, some lighting flashes on the far away
mountains for an added touch, "as moi had ze many debts I could
not keep paid up."
	Nadeline, "Most of zhem came from ze American forms of
quick farming and ze capitalism."
	Andre, "Oui, most were problems nous never did have until
ze American technology invaded."
	Buster pops into the flash-back, "Hey!  American know-how
and farming methods have improved immensely the efficiency of
farms today."
	Andre, "What are vous doing here?" picks up the blue
bunny and throws him out, "Mois flash-back so I can complain
about anything I want." sticks his tongue out at Buster off-screen.
	Nadeline, "(Ahem!) So ze debts and debtors were showing
up at ze door."
	A montage of clips go by, a man looking like the Godfather
shows first, flipping a coin in his hand.  A huge bouncer who
pounds his fists together scaring Nadeline.  Finally, a little shrimp,
(I'm serious, a shrimp) who hands a note to Andre, it reads, "We
break thumbs."
	Nadeline, "Having no desire to have mois thumbs ruined,"
looks over her fingers in remembrance, "our my child endangered I
did ze only thing I could do."
	A quick picture of Nadeline in a bed, waiting for someone,
the shrimp from the previous scene is shown in the doorway of the
bedroom.  He is smoking a cigarette and dressed in spandex,
Nadeline is looking at him with disgust and horror.
	The entire scene is pushed aside by Nadeline's hands.
	Nadeline, "Who put zhat in zhere?!"
	Voice, "Sorry, couldn't pass up such an opportunity, here's
the real scene."
	Another picture of Nadeline, at a door of another house,
kneeling before a adult male black and white skunk.  She is crying
and appears to be pleading with the male skunk, he pulls her up,
comforts her and says everything will be all right.
	Nadeline, "I have regretted ze day I went to ze Pathos."
	Andre, "Mois wife, in all of her amore did not want ze
hardships to befall me.  So, she went to ze family Pathos, one zhat
had helped her family before, and asked zhem for help."
	Nadeline, "Zhey gave et, paying all of our debts and bills. 
Nous were so grateful nous felt nous should repay zhem in some
way.  But ze only thing nous had to offer was our unborn child."
	Andre, "So, nous promised zhat if ze child was born ze girl,
she would be engaged to ze Pathos's three year old son."
	Nadeline, "Time, she passed, and not one but two daughters
were given to us by ze stork.  Fifi was ze first one to be arrive," a
picture of a baby Fifi coming in a window via stork to the delivery
room, she is held by a doctor for a quick lookover.  She immediate
clings to the doctor and tries to plant kisses on his lips, he rips her
from himself and throws her into Nadeline's arms.
	She tries to get out of her mother's grip and begin pursuit of
the first man she has felt, "Mimi arrived five minutes after Fifi." a
scene of baby Mimi held in a knapsack by the stork at the window,
and kicking the doctor in the general groin area, her first attack
against male chauvinism.
	Andre, "Both nous loved dearly," snoring is heard in the
background.
	Shirley, "Like get off me Plucky!  Do I look like a pillow or
some junk?"
	Nadeline, "But et was Fifi who became engaged to ze
Pathos's son, just because of five minutes." she cries a little bit.
	Andre, "Nous did not tell her zis at first, wanting her not to
worry about et.  So, nous cared and nurtured Fifi into a healthy
young girl."
	Another scene, Fifi in her crib, suckling on a milk bottle. 
She quickly drains it and is crying for another, which Nadeline
quickly replaces, Fifi drains that one even faster then the first and is
again crying for another.
	Nadeline, "Et ez so strange Andre mon amore.  I give Fifi ze
bottle and she quickly sucks zhem down.  If moi didn't know any
better, I zhink she actually has ze pleasure in suckling zhem."
	Scenes flash by, showing Fifi at age one, two and so on. 
She grows bigger and more to the form and looks she is know by
today as the years pass.
	Andre, "Finally at ze age of learning, Fifi went to school."
Andre rolls his eye's in remembrance.
	Nadeline, "Ze teachers and her classmates all did ze
complaining, she would not keep her, how do you say, hands to
herself when it came to ze boys." a quick montage of Fifi on her
first boy hunts at school.  Using the baiting technique, which
consists of grabbing the basketball during a game, and saying to the
hot sweaty guys.
	Fifi, "Come and get et beeg boys!" they all take off, not
wanting to get cooties from a girl.
	Another Fifi called, "Le mauvais fille" our, "The Bad Girl"
where Fifi would act as obnoxious as possible in a class with a male
teacher.  After a few runs of having Fifi, "After school" she is
shattering glass and throwing papers at the teacher, but he for no
reason, even if she blew up the school, which she did once, would
hold her, "After School"
	Finally her most famous and well know one she calls, "Le
crochet, ligne, de odeur" our, "Hook, line, and stinker" her
wrapping of the tail around a reluctant, and often unwilling,
boyfriend.  Many needed therapy latter on in their lives.
	Nadeline, "Nous feared ze day ze boys began to zee ze sex
appeal in Fifi, but zat day of dating never came to Fifi" she tears
again, and Babs finally hands her a hanky while patting her on the
back.
	Andre, "At her age of twelve years, ze time for her to meet
ze future husband had came.  Nous had stalled long enough on ze
matter and were now being forced into et by ze Pathos."
	Nadeline, "Nous told her as ze birthday present on her
twelfth birthday, she was ze ecstatic girl skunkette about being
married to ze boy.  Having very zittle if any luck on boys she had
met and attempted to met in her life, she met him ze next day."
	Another touching scene, in that Fifi is joyous and
rambunctious that she WILL be married to someone, not thinking
that it could be possible he doesn't love her.  Fifi rushes to embrace
her future husband, Jean Pathos, fumes rising and tail waving madly
behind her.  The distance between the two is closed fast, Fifi begins
to wrap herself around Jean in enrapture.
	Nadeline, "Et was horrible!" Jean pushes Fifi away from
himself and knocks her down, "He was ze cruel, cruel man, not
wanting anything to do with Fifi, only to marry her and be done
with et."  Nadeline is crying in gushers, the dam finally being broken
with this truth.  The hanky Babs gave her is wrung out to make
room for the tears, but cannot keep up and Buster and Plucky bail
tears out of the scene in buckets.
	Andre, "He even wanted to remove ze scent glands from
Fifi, after discovering her overproductive nature.  What else he
wanted her for, ez to horrible to describe but Fifi fell into distress
and mourning over zhis.  She dawned ze black cloths and hood as if
she were at her own funeral, mon daughter was ze sad, sad, sight."
	Scene with Fifi dressed in black cloths, her eyes are looking
downward, no longer filled hope our their touch of love, but only a
look of death to them.
	Nadeline, "Et got (Sniff) ze worse as well, she dived into
romance novels and music during zhat time.  Always coming to us
in ze night, saying how much she wished ze dashing man in zhose
books would have been hers one day." she cries some more.
	Andre, "Deux months later, Jean celebrated his fifteenth
birthday, being three years older zhen Fifi.  Nous were invited, Fifi
was as cold as ze cucumber zhat day, wanting not to be touched nor
seen by zhat man.  But one of ze gifts to Jean was ze trip to ze
French Alps, he invited Fifi to go along with him, she snarled a,
"NON!" in his general direction."
	Nadeline, "Zhen ze miracle occurred, two weeks later ze
report zhat Jean Pathos had died in ze avalanche.  Mon daughter
was free from ze chains of bondage."
	Andre, "And did she ever exploit zhat freedom by going
insane with ze amore.  Within months she was terrorizing ze
countryside, no man zhat was engaged or single was safe from her. 
She chased after all of zhem, even if zhere girlfriends were with
zhem."
	Nadeline, "Et finally came to ze how do you say, head when
ze prime minister's son became very deep in ze hot water with his
fiance because of Fifi.  A letter from mon president stated clearly to
get her under control, our zhey would take ze actions to eliminate
her threat to man's peace with zhere lovers."
	Andre, "Moi knew zhere was no way to stop her, mon wife
had ze same condition before nous were married.  So nous
considered ze only valid one, send her away."
	Nadeline, "Nous had heard already of Acme Acres creation
and ze opening of Acme Looniversity, but did not have ze money to
send her zhere, but another miracle occurred for us."
	Babs, "You won the lottery!"
	Plucky, "Pennies from heaven?"
	Shirley, "Pepe Le Pew saw some hidden talent in your
daughter?"
	Nadeline, "Non, non, something even better.  Ze plot hole!"
	Buster, "That and the fact we wanted her as one of the
shows first characters." Babs giggles a little at remembering her
action that got a lot of characters on the show in, "The Looney
Beginning"
	Nadeline, "She was very excited, ze fact she was ze fan and
admirer of Pepe Le Pew, she skipped her way to ze jet for takeoff to
America, making ze many passengers unconscious with her
excitement."
	Andre, "Nous were still ze poor, poor family, so could not
afford proper accommodations for her living in Acme Acres, only
enough money for ze tuition."
	Shirley, whispering to her friends, "Like most hotels
wouldn't like take Fifi anyway, fumigation costs our some junk."
	Babs, "But I don't get it, if Jean was dead why is she
unhappy now?"
	Andre, "Because he ez not dead, but tres alive instead."
	Nadeline, "Zhust quatre months ago, ze Pathos came to
mois door.  Zhey told us zhat Jean had been found ze eight months
after le accident."
	Andre, "Zhey said he had thought et over and did not want
to marry ze wife zhat hated him.  His parents agreed and decided
not to tell us of his return.  Knowing nous would be the, how do
you say, duty bound to have her marry."
	Shirley, "Then like why is he marrying her now?"
	Nadeline, "Zhat is because of ze outside interference."
	Buster, "Huh?"
	Nadeline, "Some American girl convinced ze Pathos zhat
Fifi being married would increase zhere fame and fortune, she being
ze TV star."
	Babs, "Wait a second, what is the name of this American
girl?"
	Nadeline, "She calls herself, Camry Curvaceous."
	Buster, Babs, Shirley, Plucky, "CAMRY!!!!"
	Andre, "Oh, so vous have heard of her?"
	Plucky, "Heard of her!  She is one of the most traitorous and
dangerous villains on the show."
	Shirley, "That's like villainess Plucky."
	Buster, "I smell a plot line."
	Babs whirls into a septic tank service man uniform, "And I
smell an evil plot the stinks and is very weak at the elbow joints."
	Plucky, "Yeah!  Camry must have cooked this plan up in
order to be rid of Fifi, I bet that Jean is not even the real one."
	Andre, "Oh no, he ez ze real one all right.  Ze family crest
of ze Pathos's hangs around his neck, each medallion is made
personally for each family member.  Et does with ze tradition so
zhat no one can ever take ze Pathos's name without being born into
et, not even wives our husbands can have ze family crest, only ze
children."
	Plucky, "Oh!"
	Nadeline, "Don't be ze distressed, nous already tried zhat
route, but only found more proof zhat ez Jean Pathos."
	Buster, "Well, I still think there is some lies to this story,
especially if Camry is behind it."
	Babs, "What do you want to do Buster?"
	Buster, "I think we should start at the ruins of Camry's
hideout, she might have rebuilt after her failed attempt to be rid of
us."
	In the bushes behind the bunch, a camera whirls on a tripod,
pointing directly at the group of six.  Its antenna pumps a signal
across the air of Acme Acres to the Wastelands and Camry's new
hideout, displaying on a screen what is happening and being said to
the female fox.
	Camry, "So, the Buster Bunny bunch wants to try and get
me to confess my plot?  Well, I better not disappoint them and
actually be a smart villain and attempt not to be caught" she hops
into one of her many jetsleds, the tunnel she heads into reads, "To
Old Hideout"
	Camry, "Besides, it might be a little fun to spring the old
traps I had left in my hideout!" she leaves laughing wickedly.
	In Camry's hideout, an invisible eye watches over the den,
unseen yet giving a clear signal to those who use its spying
techniques.  Back at Alex's palace, two liquid metal servants watch
as Camry leaves the den.
	First Servant, "Should we inform master Alex of the
impending plot?"
	Second Servant, "I do not recommend it number four.  Alex
hates to be interrupted while learning of new facts and figures,
especially when dealing with a society."
	He points to a portal that shows Alex in the French Alps,
looking and scanning the grave marker he spotted while with Buster,
Hamton, and Plucky.
	Back at his palace, another spy device transmits its signal to
those who placed it their, the CIA.
	First Agent, "Should we move on this sir?"
	Second Agent, "No, this being still shows no threat to the
American way of life."
	High above the Earth, a being on a throne of gold,(The
almighty) looks down on the planet and sees what the two agents are
up to.  Only from the shoulders down is seen, dressed in pure white
cloth, purer then the purest marble.
	God, "Perhaps I should give them boils on the buttocks to
teach them a lesson of spying on thy fellow neighbor."
	A knock is heard at the corner of the scene.
	God, "Yes?"
	A man's head pushes through the film and pops out from
behind the scene, he is wearing glasses and looks very agitated.
	Man, "Excuse me God, but all this changing of scenery is
giving the artists a very serious case of writer's cramp.  Could we
please go to the verses battle in Camry's old hideout like we were
contracted to do instead of all this scene jumping?"
	Another man pops out from behind the scene but is unable
to fit all the way into the picture so is stuck between scenes.
	Second Man, "Really!  My hand is about to throw down its
brush and strangle me.  And why all the clouds and lighting? 
Couldn't God and heaven just  be a big white blob with yellow
streaks like in, "This is the Life"?"
	I pop into the scene.
	Jeremy, "That's it!  I quit!  I didn't write this story to
suddenly change it in the middle and have stupid comic relief's pop
up every few seconds."
	Woody Woodpecker jumps in for now reason laugh his
stupid laugh.  I pull out a shotgun and end the whole routine.
	Alex pops into the scene, "But what about my grand final at
the end between me and Fifi?"
	Babs pops up, "And what about the part where Camry gets
her just deserts?"
	Plucky pops in as well, "And when are you going to put me
as the hero?  What's the matter, don't you think a duck can cut it as
a dashing and daring character?"
	Camry, "And what about the part when I give Babs, Buster,
and Shirley the old, one, two.  Making them eat the words, "You
can't outsmart a rabbit" for years to come."
	God, "Excuse me."
	All, "Yes?"
	God, "Wouldn't it be easier to just to skip this scene and go
with the verses battle in Camry's hideout and finish the story from
there?"
	Jeremy, "You know what, that is a great idea!  How'd you
come up with it?"
	God, "I'm the almighty."
	All, "Oh get out of here." everyone starts to walk back to
their places in the story.
	God, "No really, I can do anything you want, just ask. 
Water to wine.  Flowers from nuclear waste."
	Plucky, "Yeah right, whatever.  God!  When pigs fly." one
just does past the duck.
	God, "Don't go!  I never get anyone here to talk to.  Only
people who grovel at my feet and say their not worthy enough our
to forgive them and not send them to heck and....."
	Ahem!  Anyway, the four heroes for this, Buster, Babs,
Plucky, and Shirley, stare down a hole in the ground that is black
with soot, looking as a fire had burned its opening.  They stand only
a couple of yards from the Big A.L. (And for those of you who
don't remember, this is the hole Buster and Babs rocketed out of in
"Transfer Student")
	Plucky, "From the looks of it you two got out just in time."
	Babs, "Who said we did?" rubs her behind.
	Buster, "The last three feet of ground we went through the
hard way."
	Shirley, "So, like what makes you think this is like where
Camry will be?"
	Buster, "Simple Shirl, this show never has any complex plot
lines, so she is bound to end up where she appeared the first time."
	With that, he begins to shimmy down the hole, hoping that it
will open up at the bottom.  For a detailed account of the seismic
activity that occurred after the explosion Camry let lose in,
"Transfer Student" please contact, "Acme Acre's Gas and Sewage
Sucking Services."
	Plucky, "Could we please continue with the story instead of
a nature show?"
	The four make their way down the burrow, Buster leading
being followed by Babs, Shirley and Plucky.  Who with a short
argument was able to take the rear behind Shirley, although she isn't
taking her eye's off of him for a second.
	"Fortunately for our hero's" booms through a bullhorn all
can hear, "the tunnel does open up into a cavern that at one time
was grand and graceful."  Dungeons and Dragons music plays in the
background.
	The cavern is much smaller then the original one that was
once located here, dark and dry it holds no moisture for the four. 
Having an air that is gritty and sooty, filled with the ashes of the
explosion that rocked the Loo only a few weeks ago.  A slug would
be sucked of all moisture if in this cavern that holds not a drop of
water for an.....
	Babs, "OK!  OK!  We get the point, it's not your run of the
mill cool damp cave."
	The ceiling of the cavern is jagged and collapsed, groaning
under the strain of dirt that was used to fill in the sinkhole it created. 
Buster lights a lantern he pulls out from nowhere, illuminating the
dreary surroundings of the cavern.
	Babs, "Where did you get that Buster?"
	Buster, "Props department."
	Loud Booming Voice, "Which is where you should have
stayed at blue boy!"
	A single audible click is heard, then the entire cavern is
illuminated by electric light who's source is from the walls of the
cavern.  Across the cavern, only fifteen feet, stands a red and white
female fox, Camry Curvaceous.
	Camry, "So, you return to the scene of the crime, our better
yet, the place you had your brush with death." she chuckles a little.
	Buster, "You've got some explaining to do Camry." he steps
ahead of his group in defiance.
	Camry, "But Ricky!  Waahhhhh!" she pulls off a perfect
Lucy impression.
	Babs, "What are you up to with Fifi?"
	Camry, "Oh!  Ho!  So the female skunk is why you came,
don't you believe in romance and destiny Babs."
	Shirley, "Like don't toy with us, I'm sensing some bad vibes
from you Camry.  Like why are you after Fifi our some junk?"
	Camry, "How rude you little <CENSORED>"
	Babs, "What are you doing Camry, if you hurt Fifi in
anyway I'll, I'll..."
	Camry, "Come now Babs, is that anyway for a lady....  Oh! 
That's right, your not a lady, only a little girl who has had too many
triple cappuccino's at the local deli.  How are the cops doing and
what's the latest price on donuts?  Chubby!"
	That blows the fuse, Babs lunges forward to tear Camry to
pieces and walks unwittingly into Camry's trap.  A very large and
heavy anvil crashes down from nowhere and lands on Babs,
flattening her into a pancake.
	Plucky, "I like this writer!"
	Buster, "Babs!" he rushes forward to aid his now short and
thin friend.
	Shirley, "Like, take this you murder!" lighting coming from
her aura leaps from her body to strike at Camry.  Camry doesn't
flinch nor move to avoid the onslaught of metaphysical energy,
instead she pulls out an object from behind her back.
	In Camry's hand is held a mirror black as ink, the energy
appears to be drawn to it, then absorbed through its surface.  A few
moments and all the metaphysical energy has been consumed by the
object, Camry touches a button on the mirrors handle, releasing the
energy back at Shirley.
	For the first time in Shirley's life, she is fried by her own
mystic powers.
	Camry, "Metaphysical Mirror," she displays the mirror for
all to see, "you didn't think I haven't studied your powers now did
you Shirley?"
	Plucky, "That's it, I'm going to teach you little...." Camry
pushes another button on the mirror.  Clicks from numerous guns
loading their first rounds are heard, looking into the dark corners of
the cavern, Plucky sees mounted rifles all pointed in his general
direction.
	Plucky, "That is if I wasn't a gentleman," quickly runs and
ducks behind Shirley, "we're not suppose to strike a lady."
	Shirley, "My hero."
	Buster, "Babs!" pulls her out from underneath the anvil,
"Are you all right?  Does it hurt?"
	Babs, "Only when I move."
	Buster takes one of Babs's hands, our what looks like a
hand, and blows whole-heartily into a stubby finger.  With a,
"POP!!" Babs is blown back to her original toony shape.
	Babs, "Thanks Buster, I needed that."
	Camry, "That is round one, would you like to try for round
two?"
	Buster, "Some match, you got the home team advantage."
	Plucky, "Really, who knows what sort of devastating devices
you have waiting to spring upon us."
	Camry laughs her wicked laughter once more, making all the
toons cringe, "You still think this is my hideout?" she is laughing
hysterically now, "Too easy, much too easy Warner Brothers, I
would think you could have created much better heroes to defeat
me."
	Babs, "Get to the point blowhard!"
	Camry, "Isn't that what you came down here for, points? 
And why should I tell you what I have planned for Miss La Fume,
soon to be Mrs. Pathos?"
	Shirley, "It's like tradition our some junk for the villain to
reveal what they have like planned to the heroes."
	Camry, "It is also tradition that a villainess doesn't have the
ability to outsmart our destroy characters on a cartoon show." she
grins even more deeply, "So maybe that tradition should be broken
as well."
	Buster, "Quit kidding yourself Camry, you know it is
impossible to outsmart a rabbit."
	Camry, "WAS!  But times Buster, how they do change. 
Anyway," she yawns, "I will tell you generally what I have planned. 
Some traditions should never be broken."
	She moves swiftly to the back of the cavern, flipping a
switch, the center of the cavern collapses dividing the four from her.
	Camry, "Fifi La Fume will marry Jean Pathos, he is the true
one, I made sure of that!" her voice echoes through the dust that
was kicked up, "Jean himself I have convinced to keep Fifi close to
home, so she WILL return with him to France as his wife.  I also
took the precaution of warning him of Alex, and recommended he
keep her clear of him."
	Buster, "But what is in this for you Camry?" he tries to get
her to reveal her plan.
	Camry, "Just the satisfaction to rid myself on an opposition."
	Babs, "Your kidding, no one goes to this much trouble.  Do
you want Fifi's place?  Her lovers?"
	Shirley, "Alex?"
	A throaty growl is heard from across the cavern.
	Buster, "So that is it, you want Alex and getting rid of Fifi
eliminates your competition."
	Camry, "Yes, blueboy, that is something I think even a three
year old could figure out.  But riddle me this Buster, what do I want
him for?"
	Babs, "You won't get away with this Camry!"
	Camry, "Why not?  The river of fate flows my direction
Babs, and the Fumes and the Pathos are both honorable families.  It
would take a miracle, especially since Fifi is famous now, for either
to break the promise they gave one another.  Stop destiny if you can
Tiny Toons!"
	Another click is heard, and the remainder of the roof begins
to met the ground.  The four barely make it out of the cavern
without having to burrow out again.
	Plucky, "Well that was generally pointless." an anvil wavers
above him, "I take it back!  I take it back!"
	Shirley, "Well, like what are we going to do about this?"
	Buster, "For starters, I suggest you and Babs head to Fifi's,
don't want her to take the lover's leap for the thirteenth time, only
this time go through with it."
	Babs, "I think we're too late for that.  Look!"
	High above the valley Acme Acres is nestled in, Fifi La
Fume stands at the peak of  lover's leap.  Pleading her heart out of
the injustice the world holds for those who believe in true love.
	Fifi, "Life, she's ze beach, zhen vous die!"
	Ok, so its not Shakespeare.  So sue me!
	Girl behind Fifi, "Hurry up will you!  My boyfriend just
dumped me for a kitchen appliance." Gogo Dodo hops by with a
juicer in a passionate embrace.
	Babs, "Come-on Shirl, better stop her before the neighbors
complain."
	Fifi, holding a guy who himself came to lover's leap, "Stop
me monsieur, stop me from myself!" is shaking him thoroughly,
"Moi knows our amore could have been ze something, but life ez ze
cruel, cruel zhing.  Oh, be still mois broken heart."
	Guy, "Ahhhhh, I was just sent here to fix a lightbulb and the
plumbing mame.  I had nothing to do with your boyfriend and the
engagement you went through."
	Fifi, "Kess me you fool!" the smell has hit him, and finally
he realizes the price such a kiss holds and begins to turn tail, with
Fifi still clinging.
	Plucky, "Oh brother!"
	Buster, "Plucky we have the hardest job of all ahead of us
right now."
	Plucky, "What?  Research thousands of family trees to find
out if Jean is the true one?"
	Buster shakes his head.
	Plucky, "Go to France?  Look and ask for information on
Jean to see if this is true?"
	Buster shakes his head for the second time.
	Plucky, "Then what!!!???"
	Buster, "We're going sneak into to Jeremy's house and see
how the story comes out."
	Plucky looks at the camera and rolls his eyes, "What a
brain."
	Needless to say, neither one knows where I live, so the week
passes by quickly, the Pathos wanting the wedding as quickly as
possible so it was set on the Friday of that week.  Camry provides
the church, decorations, even the ring.  This being the way she will
eliminate her competition of Fifi, she doesn't even consider the costs
and goes all out.  In her mind, the key to being rid of Babs and
Shirley is destroying their friend, the first step in her conquest of
Acme Acres.
	Fifi, well she decided early on in the week to start her
bachelorette party, the guy at lover's leap triggering it.  Babs and
Shirley spend most of the time trying to track her down all over the
City of Acme Acres.  Following the signs of comatose men and
deathly white cats and dogs the by some cruel trick had a stripe
down their back.
	At last, on Thursday, they locate her at her home in the
Acme Dump, opening the door the smell of a sauce Fifi has been
indulging on hits them full force.
	Shirley holds her nose, "Is that like grape juice our some
junk?"
	Babs, "Oh my!  Look!"
	In the middle of the cadillac, sits Fifi at a table with many
uncorked bottles of grape juice.  The entire table is covered with the
deep blue substance, producing a foul odor of sour grapes.  Behind
the table near Fifi, is a man in a strait jacket.
	Man in straight jacket, "Help!  My name is Floyd Bennant! 
I was on my way to a mascarade party as a skunk when this female
jumped me!  Call my lawyer!  No more!  No more!"
	Babs, "Fifi!" 
	Fifi jumps back from advancing on this man, planning
another barrage of kisses and fumes on him.  She looks up sadly at
Babs with bloodshot eyes, a look of death mingled with a fantasy
the juice has brought upon her is on her face.
	Fifi, "Oh look monsieur!  Ze one who always gets ze guy. 
Allo Babsie," she waves a hand at her lazily, "did you and
Shirrrllllly," she slurs Shirley's name terribly, making Shirley flinch,
"come to throw moi ze wedding shoo.....shoo.......party?"
	Babs, "Ok, I think someone has had a little too much grape
juice."
	Fifi, "BURP!!!!!" so loudly that she pats her stomach when
done.
	Barney from the, "Simpson's" pops into the scene suddenly.
	Barney, "Now that's what I call a lady!  *BURP!*"
	Shirley, "Like Fifi, you've got to quit giving yourself such
negative inputs our some junk."
	Fifi, "Zis from ze girl who gets thrillsssss from sitting like ze
log."
	Shirley, "I like know your not yourself right now so I'll just
ignore that Feef."
	Fifi, "Good fer vous, miss, miss, new age girl!"
	Babs, "Fifi!  Is that any way to talk to your friends?"
	Fifi, "What does et matter?  I will be ze, how do you say,
unloved wife by zhat monster.  I've always wanted ze lover zhat
would return mois amore, but now et will never happen."
	"Never!" she bangs her head on the table, "Never!" slams
the bottle down breaking it, "NEVER!" she breaks into a rain of
tears.  By now the man in the straight jacket has become an escape
artist, and flees the abandoned car.  Fifi tries to grab him back
quickly with her tail, but her friends hold her back.
	Fifi, "Zhat ez ze way et always ezz.  Zhay run away from
moi even though I pour my heart out for zhem.  Why does life have
to be ze lonely for a skunk?" she looks at her friends for an answer,
but they have none to give but pity.
	Babs, "Well, we can still be friends Fifi, and if he dares
touch you scent glands," she whirls into a female Rambo, "I'll cut
off his head and spit down his throat!" Fifi chuckles a little.
	Shirley, "And like you can count on me to help as well, just
say the word and I'll like put a curse on him the will, like, shrink the
family jewels, or some junk."
	Fifi begins to laugh, brought on by the picture in her mind of
such and act, she hugs her friends and they hug her back.
	Fifi, "Your are ze right, who cares if he ez ze unloving man. 
Moi can still have ze night on the town!" she whirls herself and
changes into a very seductive outfit that impresses her friends.
	Fifi, "Et ez ze depressing here, why don't nous go out and
enjoy ze life?" Babs and Shirley look at each other surprised at the
sudden change in their friend.  They soon join her at the door,
where Fifi quickly comments to them.
	Fifi, "Besides, et ez ze nineties.  Moi can always divorce him
after ze wedding."
	They all laugh together, and the Amazing Three meet the
night together, with hearts held high and spirits soaring.  But the
whole night, an air of dread hangs around Fifi, not truly believing a
divorce from Jean will be all that easy.
	Well, anyway, the day of the wedding soon arrives at the
church of, "Saint Toon's United Priests for Idiotic Drawings ."  or,
"STUPID" for short.
	Jean's Mother and Father are the only one from his side of
the family in attendance.  Camry, Montana and Elmyra sit with
them.  A very unbalanced scene is in the Church, Jean's side sitting
opposite all the toons who know Fifi at the Big A.L.  The entire
assembly of pews is in a disorder, from Dizzy eating the woodwork,
to Arnold pursuing Furrball who is pursuing Sweetie.
	The front pew is inhabited by Buster, Plucky, Hamton and
Pepe Le Pew, not wanting to miss one of his favorite student's
wedding.  Babs and Shirley are no where to be seen.
	Hamton, "We're not going to let her go through with this? 
Are we Buster?"
	Buster, "Don't know, Hammy, this is a very touchy subject,
contracted marriage.  Arranged to pay a debt one family owes
another."
	Pepe, "Tres touchy indeed Buster Bunny.  If ze Fifi were to
how vous say, renege on ze engagement madame would humiliate
her family as well as ze Pathos."
	Plucky, "Well I for one think it is stupid, it's not romantic
nor does it make sense in financial terms."
	The organist up front is signaled, she grabs something from
beneath the organ, it is Sneezer.  Using a pepper mill, she achieves
the reaction she needs.
	Sneezer, "Ah.......Ah.......Ah......Ahhhh  Chooooo!!!!"
	The bellows of the organ quickly fill to maximum capacity,
the organist begins to play the wedding march and all in the church
stand.
	Organist, "Budget cuts, have to use alternative power
sources." she refills the little mouse's nose some more.
	First down the isle, is Mimi, the flower girl.  She looks very
ticked, the whole time mumbling, "Sexist traditions!  Why can't their
be a flower boy?  And what is wrong with having a best woman
instead of a man?  Don't think a woman can hack holding onto a
ring up to the engagement."
	She whips the flowers at the crowd, with a speed that causes
welts on the people being hit.
	Mimi, "Besides, a woman should grab a man and take him
instead of having this carnival."
	Coming to the front pew she smiles at Hamton who blushes
a deep red.  She having meet him earlier today and taking an
extreme liking to the pig.  Looking and seeing Buster and Plucky,
the look gets venom in it.
	Plucky, "How come she likes Hamton and not us Buster."
	Buster, "Think about it Plucky, what does she think men
are?"
	Plucky, "Pigs, but how does that.......Ohhhhhhh!"
	The two quiet as Fifi's mother follows behind Shirley who is
the ring bearer, Nadeline is bawling about the whole wedding, Babs
supports her with her shoulder.
	Finally, "Here comes the bride" bellows from the organ and
everyone at the wedding gasps at the sight that is walking down the
aisle.  Andre Le Fume, accompanies his daughter to give her away
to Jean, but this sight is not what has people gasping in horror as
well as awe.
	Fifi La Fume, a woman that has lived for such a romantic
moment of marriage, dreamed of it for years upon years.  One
would have expected her to be wearing the most gorgeous of
gowns, but instead she wears a wedding dress that is a dark black
velvet in color.
	If the attendants to the wedding didn't know any better, the
would think Fifi is attending a funeral, perhaps her own.
	Reaching the alter, Andre lets her go to Jean to stand next to
him.  The preacher comes forward and Babs and Shirley take their
places beside Fifi as bride's maids.  The priest comes forward for
the exchanging of the vows.
	Priest, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join
this skunk and this skunkette in holy......"
	Jean, "Skip et and get to ze point!  I want to be back in
France before ze sun sets tonight!"
	Everyone is shocked in attendance.  Buster, Plucky, and
Hamton rush the alter in protest to this outrage.  Babs and Shirley
give Jean a piece of their mind, literally, more by grabbing a couple
of mallets to clobber him with.
	Camry pulls forth a device that looks like an egg beater, but
not knowing what it could be keeps the rushing defenders at bay.  It
is Fifi that eventually calms the ravaged sea of discontent.
	Fifi, "Please mois friends, let us get zhis over with.  If Jean
wants le quick wedding, zhen let him have it."
	They back off, but Babs and Shirley look about ready to rip
Jean apart from limb to limb.  He looks unfazed, our perhaps not
even caring of what they think.
	Priest, "If anyone......."
	Jean, "Skip et!"
	The Priest looks very irritated, "Does, do you take Fifi to be
your wife, suit your needs?"
	Jean, "Very, and oui I do."
	Priest, "Do you Fifi," he curls his nose in disgust of such a
short wedding, "take Jean to be your husband.  Etc, etc, etc?"
	Jean looks at her with a stern look, whispering, "Remember
what was promised" in her ear.  Babs and Shirley look annoyed, but
know very well that Fifi is willing to go through with this.  A bawl is
heard, not from Nadeline but from Hamton.
	He begins to speak words that start with, "I want to say that
I...." but a look from Fifi silences him, she is mouthing, "Not now
Hammy".  He only cries and runs out of the chapel.  Buster and
Plucky look at each other, they both know what they want to do, but
doing such would only destroy their friendship with Fifi.  The look
like prisoners with hands tied and looking down they see their hands
are tied, literally!
	Fifi swallows hard, a single tear escapes her eye, "Moi........"
she breaths a deep breath.  Looks at the man she is to marry with
disgust and speaks in a crackled voice, "I......"
	If you asked anyone in attendance later what happened, no
one would know for sure when it started to build.  Fifi herself would
say she felt the tremors earlier in the chapel, but paid it no notice
thinking she was only depressed and disillusioned.
	One thing for sure though, a rumble started throughout the
church, one that no one could ignore and stopped what Fifi was
about to say.
	The clinking of holy water bottles are heard near the alter,
the priest rushes to grab them in order to prevent a spillage of
salvation.  The tremors build, at first attendants think it is and
earthquake, but soon find it is too ordered in its vibrations to be one,
moving in waves in a giant ocean.
	Below the alter, in the center of the isle, lightning crackles
off of the pews and the aisle itself.  Forming then dissipating in the
air, the colors of deep blue, orange, and yellow are seen in them.
	Duncan Macleod from, "Highlander" pops into the scene.
	Duncan, "There can be only one." he walks off, leaving a
very confused audience.
	Finally, the lightening builds to such a concentration that it
focuses into one great ball of power, rumbling the church at its
foundations.  A very large and powerful porthole rips into the
church, creating a crash that startles all in attendance, the whole
scene ripples as a pond does when a rock is thrown into it..
	Through this hole walk Alex, looking very determined and
having a look of mischief upon his face.  The tremors cease and
lightning disappears quicker then it formed when he is through.
	Jean, "Who ez zhis smeghead?"
	Alex, "A better question would be who you truly are, Jean
Pathos?"
	Fifi walks down from the alter, looking more depressed and
sad then she formally was.
	Fifi, "Alex, I know vous adores me, but zhis ez ze family
matter.  I was engaged to Jean long, tres very long before I met
vous."
	Alex, "But Fifi, that....."
	Fifi, "Non, don't say et Alex." she sobs a bit, "Don't say
vous loves moi and cannot let moi marry.  I must, <sigh!> do zhis
for ze family honor."
	Alex grabs Fifi by the shoulders and turns her to face him, "I
know all about the honor and debt you owe the Pathos Fifi.  But
there is just one little problem." he point an accusing finger at Jean,
"That is not Jean Pathos!  Is it Camry?" he grins at her.
	Jean, "What!  Ez zhis vous idea of le joke?  Why I have
never been ze insulted en all mois life!  If zhis ez zhey way vous will
treat my family and ets honor....."
	Alex, "Hold it right there Frenchy!  Let us talk about your
family shall we?  Your family came from a box!  A cardboard box
that is."
	Everyone, "WHAT!"
	Alex, "Oh yes, you would be surprised how far you can go
with a little knowledge of dimensional physics and time travel."
	Jean gets a look of terror as Alex pulls a medallion from his
fur, a medallion that looks exactly like the one Jean is wearing.  Alex
walks up to Jean and pulls the medallion from his neck, looking at
the back then addressing the audience.
	Alex, "Unless, (Made in Taiwan) has become a new family
symbol, I don't think this is the true Pathos medallion."
	Camry walks up and rips both medallions from Alex's hands.
	Camry, "It doesn't prove a thing Alex!  We here all know of
your powers, you could have just as easily switched them."
	Alex, "Yes, I was aware of such a thing, that is why I
brought," pulls forth a video camera, "solid proof back with me
from my time travel.  Using my powers I traveled back in time, to a
certain point at which a young male skunk died in an avalanche."
	Buster, "Wait a minute!  The last time thing you were doing
was investigating a grave in the French Alps."
	Alex, "Whose grave do you think it was?" Buster gives Alex
a look of disbelievence, "I thought you might not believe me.  That
is why I had no idea what was going on here back in Acme Acres,
until I felt through my clairvoyance and telekinetic mind readings of
Fifi's distress and returned quickly to investigate."
	Shirley, "Like clairvoyance and what junk Alex?"
	Alex, "I not sure, it's something I just have.  I'm making up
the definitions as I go along Shirl."
	Camry, "Get to the point Alex."
	Alex, "The point is, I had some idea that you were behind
this.  That and the fact I did a quick mind-scan of you." Camry
looks wide-eyed and violated, "So I begun an investigation on your,"
turns to the camera, "Gee, I'm starting to feel like Columbo here."
turns back to the toonsters, "actions you had performed in the past
three weeks."
	Camry, "And what did you find?"
	Alex, "You snore in bed, eat with your mouth open and
watch real cheesy science fiction B-movies every Thursday night."
everyone begins to chuckle a little, even the preacher.
	Camry, "Oh, and none of you have watched them!?"
	Alex, "And although these were interesting aspects, even the
one of you trying to get rid of a wart on the bottom of your paws,
they revealed nothing that put you as an accomplice in this fraud. 
That was until I reached three weeks from today."
	Alex snaps his fingers, a board appears in the front of the
Church as well as a TV with a VCR attached.  Alex walks up to the
board and draws a quick diagram of Fifi, the country of France and
Camry.
	Alex, "Camry," points to her picture, "started three and a
half weeks ago to do deep research into Fifi's past." draws a line
from Camry to Fifi, "But hardly found any in America, so
continued her investigation with the country of France's achieves."
draws another line from Camry to France.
	Alex draws another picture of books near France on the
board, "In France she found evidence of Fifi's previous and killed
engagement to the real Jean Pathos.  Wake up Plucky!  There's
going to be a test on this in the next class."
	Plucky jolts awake from the pew, "I was......just
contemplating how great a teacher you are Alex."
	Alex, "Flattery will get you nowhere and I want to see you
after the wedding." Plucky looks ticked.
	Camry walks up to the board, "This is just circumstantial
evidence, I have a great interest in my rivals and have even
researched Babs's and Shirley's past."
	Alex, "Yes, but it is what you did when you took a trip to
France that proves your guilt." draws another line from Camry to
France, making a tic-tac-toe playing field.  The two have a very
quick game, Alex being the winner.
	Alex, "Now, going to exhibit B2," flings the video camera in
the air which quickly turns into a projection camera, "I trailed you to
your exact location of the source of the plot.  The down town
Weenie Burger of Grenoble, where you met the Pathos."
	The film shows the very Weenie Burger, looking like its twin
in Acme Acres, only it is located in the downtown of this French
city.
	Alex, "Entering from the south door, I saw you and the two
Pathos parents in a both, ordering fries and a couple of milkshakes."
	Camry, "I never saw you!"
	Alex, "Ah yes!  But I was in disguise." lightning flickers
around Alex's body, the fur morphs into ragged baggy cloths.  A
very large hump grows out of his back, by the time the change was
over with, the hunchback of Notre Dame stands before Camry.
	Buster, "What is with the hump?"
	Alex pulls forth a loaf of bread, a jug of grape juice from the
hump.
	Alex, "And though?" looks at Fifi and winks, "Though the
real reason is." pulls forth a video camera that is an exact copy of
the one that floats above projecting the espionage on the back wall
of the church.
	Camry, "You were that hunchback that swung from the
ceiling like a monkey?  I thought it was a publicity stunt by Disney."
	Alex, "That is where you went wrong Camry, so behold,"
points at the projection, "the plan revealed to all."
	In the projection Camry and two skunks are seen in a booth,
their lips move but no sound is heard.  Camry begins to laugh,
mumbling under her breath, "He forgot to get the sound." she grins
in triumph, planning another lie to win against Alex.
	Alex walks up to the floating camera, gives it a large whack
with the back of his hand.  Sound crackles to life inside the church,
a very loud voice of Camry rings out in the church.
	Camry, "....AND WITH YOUR COOPERATION!!!!"
	Alex sticks his finger's in his ears as does everyone else in
the church, the very loud plans of Camry unfold in everyone's
heads, whether they want to hear them our not.  This goes on for a
couple of seconds until Alex pulls one finger out and twists his hand
on an invisible knob in the air, turning the volume down.
	The Pathos, "But what makes you think such a thing can
happen?"
	Camry, "Easily, your son's body was never recovered, we
can always say he returned and decided not to marry the Fume girl. 
Now though, he has changed his mind and wants to marry her."
	The Pathos, "But who will we get to marry her?"
	Camry looks around the restaurant for a while, over the
hunchback, wrinkles her nose in disgust, finally spots a bum across
the street.
	Camry, "That man over their will do nicely."
	Fifi, "What!  Your nothing but a bum?" she rushes up to the
now known impersonator of Jean Pathos and knocks him down with
her tail.
	Camry, "Darn!  Foiled again."
	Mimi, "Oh Camry?"
	Camry turns, only to get a very large uppercut from Fifi's
sister, knocking her two feet in the air and ten feet back.  Everyone
looks at Mimi with very large eye's at this feat of strength.
	Mimi, "Who says men have the best thrusts?" she flutters
her eyebrows.
	Alex, slaps his hands together to clean his hands of the job,
"Well, it looks like my work is done here."
	He is knocked down by a very large and excited skunkette,
one called Fifi La Fume.
	Fifi, "Oh monsieur Alex, since moi ez already dressed for ze
occasion, why don't nous get married?" she looks deep into Alex's
eyes, hoping.
	Alex on the other hand, sees the old ball and chain look in
the her eyes.
	Alex, "Uh, that is nice to hear Fifi but, but, I'm not sure if
I'm ready to be married yet."
	Fifi, "Oh come now monsieur, vous did not save moi just to
let her roam free." she is smiling now, and wiggles her eyebrows at
Alex, "Vous are ze hunter and moi ez ze fawn." grabs Alex's arms
and holds him closer to her, "Now feast upon moi!"
	A good offer to any man, but Alex sees in Fifi's eye's the
future, a future with headaches from children.  Another image sets
him to flee, him on a couch overweight and drinking cans of
beverage watching football.
	Alex, screams and breaks out of Fifi's grasp, fleeing from the
church.
	Fifi, "Oh, ho, ho, my jiggling gigolo has got ze cold feet."
she throws off her depressing wedding gown and starts her pogo
jump pursuit after Alex, "I am going to find vous mon petite rose of
amore."
	The camera irises out on Fifi in pursuit of Alex.
	THE END?

END LEGAL NOTE:  The characters Alex Redolence, Camry
Curvaceous, Jean Pathos, Nadeline La Fume, Andre La Fume, and
Mimi La Fume are my creation and copyright Jeremy J. Jurrens,
1996.
THANKS:  To HKUriah for posting this story for me.  Also to
everyone who posted on the newsgroup, "alt.tv.tiny-toons" with
suggestions to names of Fifi's parents.  And a very big thanks to
HKUriah, for writing the "Buster and Babs Trilogy" and the
"Making of the Buster and Babs Tilogy."  Which from I derived the
thinking for Fifi's past, thanks a million Kevin!